The foundation on which all self-development is
built upon is challenge – that is, our capacity to successfully challenge
ourselves and push out the boundaries of our comfort zones.
Even though there may be the urge to create something different in our lives,
the familiarity of our present existence - no matter how unhappy we are in our
malaise – can sometimes make the challenge seem insurmountable. This is what
should more accurately be called our discomfort zone: it leaves us unhappy and
unfulfilled but the energy required to overcome the inertia can sometimes be
hard to come by.
The discomfort zone can be years, possibly even decades, in the making. During
our lives we have layer upon layer of conditioning from our parents, our
friends, our peer group, school, college, workplace etc. Not all of the
conditioning will be positive yet it influences greatly our thinking and
therefore our behaviour, habits, and beliefs. So change will not always come
easily and certain aspects of negative conditioning will not fade quietly away.
In fact, it’s going to put up a fight.
There is plentiful advice online offering change and personal development
in ‘5 easy steps’, ‘11 simple ways’ or claims of being able to change our lives
in a week – and if we believe it then we are going to be sorely disappointed.
‘Patience, persistence and perspiration
make an
unbeatable combination for success.’
NAPOLEON HILL
The truth is, there are no quick fixes and no personal development
equivalent of the ‘8 minute abs’. As Jon Kabat-Zinn said when referring to
learning to practice meditation in his MBSR programme ‘It’s simple but not
easy’. So too of any change we wish to make in our lives or challenges we need
to overcome in business.
So, what do we need to bring to the table in order to overcome the
inertia of our discomfort zone and make reality of our goals? Each time I begin
work with a new client be it corporate or personal, on-to-one or groups (in the
final analysis, it’s all personal) I always highlight the following prerequisites:
DESIRE
No matter how much someone
else wants it for you, that will not be enough. You have to want it with a passion. Your desire will be the engine
room of the change you wish to undertake and there are going to be various
obstacles that you will need to tackle on the way.
IMAGINATION
Can you view yourself
from different perspectives to your norm? Can you step back and look at your
life with a certain detachment? Being as objective as possible can be
challenging but can also be very rewarding when challenging the conditioning
that may have thwarted you in the past.
DISCIPLINE
You need to dedicate time
during your week to work on the tasks you set yourself. This means good
planning to match an inspirational goal – and not losing sight of the target!
By allocating time to get the job done you keep your mind clear when you have
to focus on your objectives – but be tough about it.
HONESTY
The decision whether
or not to be honest with people is fairly straightforward. A clear awareness of
honesty with yourself, however, is not always as clear-cut. It is, however,
essential to the whole process otherwise you will stall even before you get
going. Self-honesty may not always be comfortable, but why waste a life doing
otherwise?
If you can put a tick
next to these headings there is nothing that cannot be achieved if you combine
passion, planning and hard work. All you have to do is make the decision and
once this is done, there’s nothing that can stop you breaking out of the
discomfort zone – for keeps.
Alan Keyse specialises in coaching Emotional Intelligence to
business leaders, managers and their staff – in groups or on a 1 to 1 basis. He
also speaks and holds workshops encouraging the use of mindfulness principles
in business.
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