Thursday 3 October 2013

WHY ARE YOU SO TOUGH ON YOURSELF? PART 1

The Dalai Lama said that it is  “…through compassion that we gain the conditions for genuine happiness”. The compassion of which he speaks is also due in full measure, I believe, to ourselves.

How can we expect ourselves to compete and advance in our careers when we handicap ourselves with rigorous standards we would not impose on others? Where is the logic in wanting to so burden ourselves that we put ourselves at an unnecessary disadvantage? Why so often are we unprepared to treat ourselves as equally deserving as anyone else? In doing so we are putting ourselves at the back of the starting grid for no good reason.

We live in a hectic, digital, globalised age where obvious material success is king and self-awareness and compassion are seen by many as an indulgence and even a weakness. In such an environment, encouraging people to show themselves simple kindness can be challenging. The honesty and openness that is required to find compassion for oneself does not always come easily. I am not asking for special treatment for ourselves, but that we make allowances for our weaknesses, shortcomings, and failings, in the same way we would give, for example, to our close colleagues.

FAILING CAN BE A KEY TO SUCCESS
Striving, falling and striving again underlies human development throughout its entire existence. In fact, the fall is inevitable given that we are human. What gives us the potential for greatness, however we define it, is our capacity for perseverance. We must, therefore, forgive ourselves our stumbles and carry on for it is immediately after a set back that comes our opportunity for achievement. Kicking ourselves over an error is not only a waste of energy, but we could be missing an opportunity while we are doing it.

In the second part of this blog we shall look at easy steps we can take to giving ourselves the level playing field we deserve.

FAILING ISN’T FAILURE – QUITTING IS




Alan Keyse specialises in coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, managers and their staff – in groups or on a 1 to 1 basis. He also speaks and holds workshops encouraging the use of mindfulness principles in business.


Alan Keyse

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