Serious
disagreement and disaffection between colleagues in the workplace is a huge
drain on businesses, which can ill afford the distraction. Strife and the stress
and unhappiness that come with it can affect productivity, cause absenteeism
and increase staff turnover.
While human behaviour is complex, most particularly when under stress, the same trends and themes are often repeated and understanding these and the dynamics involved is half the battle when seeking to neutralise and resolve conflict. By upping their Emotional Intelligence skill-set managers become more proficient at spotting the early warning signals, and are far better placed to anticipate and then influence what happens next.
Among the most common causes of conflict are:
IGNORANCE
We often draw
conclusions about people within moments of meeting them, or even just seeing
them across the office – this is the ‘first impression’ trap . Once in place
such preconceptions can condition our views of what others do and say from then
on. We should therefore take time to find out more about those around us, or at
least be aware of not forming our opinions before we have had the chance to do
so.
MISUNDERSTANDINGS
Do we ever get
the wrong end of the stick? Of course we do. The best way of avoiding this is,
of course, communication - there is no better antidote to adjusting a negative
impression of someone than simply filling in the blanks.
FRUSTRATIONS
& IRRITATIONS
Often these are
born of ignorance and misunderstanding but also the baggage people take to work
can have a huge effect as exterior problems may spill over at the office. This
is not excusing ill manners or bad behaviour but if we begin to understand the
causes of someone’s behaviour it could at least change our reactions for the
better.
FEELING
THREATENED
This is about
our territory, and our desire to protect what we have or what we should like to
have. If we feel threatened we are unlikely to be at our most reasonable or
generous, and in such a frame of mind it is a short step from a colleague being
perceived as a rival to them being seen as an enemy. Once this point is reached
it is hardly surprising that relations can deteriorate very badly.
DEFENSIVENESS
When we are on
our guard we are alerted to anything we interpret as challenging or threatening
in nature – at this point we perceive both as one the same thing which can then
lead to the next issue.
INTRANSIGENCE
A form of
social myopia obscuring a wider picture can develop, as we do not want to be
seen to be giving ground. Our opinions become beliefs and therefore part of us
so it can be very easy to slip into taking challenges very personally. So often
when we 'believe' something it becomes regarded by us as the ‘truth’. It is
ingrained in us to defend what we believe to be the truth, to be just, to be
right. Of course there are very clear-cut instances of right and wrong, truth
& falsehood; in human relations, however, things are rarely so
straightforward.
So there are just some of the elements that can contribute to a
dynamic of conflict at work. In Part Two of this blog we look ways in which resolution between
individuals can be found, and balance in the workplace restored. After all, with success in business not getting any easier why allow preventable problems from dictating the office agenda?
Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences.
Alan Keyse
