tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49276558762226038152024-03-05T08:56:34.048-08:00EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - Heightening Awareness in BusinessAlan Keyse discusses practical Emotional Intelligence. Employing mindfulness principles and his decades of experience in business, Alan works face to face with business owners, executives & managers in London. Online sessions are also available.
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-48731816314557634642014-03-13T07:29:00.006-07:002014-03-25T10:23:25.414-07:00CAN MANAGERS DITCH FEAR & GROW RESPECT?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;"><b>In my last blog <a href="http://keysforliving.blogspot.com/2014/03/is-fear-ever-useful-substitute-for.html?spref=tw"><span style="color: #0b5394;">IS FEAR EVER A USEFUL SUBSTITUTE FOR RESPEC</span>T</a> I wrote about the damage
that can be caused within organisations when fear is used as a management tool,
and that unless there is radical and determined lead from the executive,
attempts to combat the problem will be futile.<o:p></o:p></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">If, however, there are instances of individual
managers using fear and intimidation to get what is mistakenly
referred to as ‘the best’ out of their people, the situation can possibly be remedied
by means other than simply firing the head of that department: a manager
who is successfully ‘turned’ can be a powerful asset.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><br /></span>
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">NOT DWELLING
ON THE ‘WHY’<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">Management by intimidation, rather than being a
demonstration of personal strength is, in fact, the complete opposite. More often than not it is often a sign of deeper, inner flaws generally dwelling among ones personal learnt behaviour and social conditioning. However, looking for the ‘why’ is for another
discussion; here we are interested in finding the best way of transforming an unhappy and low performance environment into a team that is engaged,
motivated and with a spring in its step.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">
<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri;"><b>FEAR MISUNDERSTOOD</b></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">Very often weak managers do not even know
they are doing anything wrong claiming that it’s necessary to ‘crack
the whip’, ‘bang a few heads together’, ‘kick ass’, ‘they may not like me but
this isn’t popularity contest’ – do any of these sound familiar? Such managers
fail to understand that:<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">Leading
and managing through respect is not easy, if it were, then everyone
would be able to do it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">People do not actually fear <i>you</i> – they fear
how your temporary authority within an organisation can impact upon them. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">-<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;">
</span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">If a bad
manager is replaced then, like a shamed bully, fear of that person evaporates. Such managers fool themselves if they believe they are ‘strong’<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><br /></span>
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">TOP 'DOS' OF GOOD MANAGERS<o:p></o:p></span></b><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">In a healthy corporate environment, managers
employing fear as part of their ‘skill set’ are very easy to spot and there are
long lists of dos and don’ts to assist in spotting weak managers. Below are just a few measures needed to grow respect and kick fear into row ‘Z’. Also included is a 'trip wire', a ‘tell’, to look out for either in managers, or even in
ourselves.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;"><i>PRIORITISE <o:p></o:p></i></span></b><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">Trip wire</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">: being caught up in the minutiae. The desire to
micro-manage is not a substitute for the real thing – and feeling busy does not
necessarily equate to productivity. Let your team see you managing your own role and that will help them to define their own.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><br /></span>
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;"><i>BUILD A
STRONG TEAM <o:p></o:p></i></span></b><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">Trip wire</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">: feeling threatened by high performing subordinates.
Have the confidence to encourage and help talent – it reflects well on the team
and manager alike. If a strong candidate is destined for higher things then let
them grow – this kind of strength of purpose will be very attractive to
subordinates. <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;"><i>TRUST YOUR TEAM<o:p></o:p></i></span></b><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><b><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">Trip wire</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">:
if you think or utter ‘if you want something doing right, do it yourself’, stop
in your tracks. Trust your people to do the job well and if they cannot then
train them! If they’re treated like adults they WILL respond – trust them, and
they will trust you back.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;"><i>A ‘BLAME FREE’ ZONE<o:p></o:p></i></span></b><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><b><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">Trip wire</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">:
When problems occur and the first reaction is ‘who’s at fault?’. In this case
blame is on the agenda and it has to go! The response needs to be: understand
what happened, get it put right & ensure everyone learns the lesson. A team
afraid of making mistakes will lose all imagination and creativity.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;"><i>FEEDBACK<o:p></o:p></i></span></b><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><b><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">Trip wire</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">:
sensitivity to positive criticism. A ‘feedback culture’ in a team breeds trust.
Train your people in its appropriate use and it becomes a real plus for
management and environment building.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;"><i>STRUCTURE THE WORKING DAY <o:p></o:p></i></span></b><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><b><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">Trip wire</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">:
complaining about being busy. Is it busy or hectic? The former makes money, the
latter loses it. The last person out of the office is not necessarily the most
productive – in fact that twighlight competition as well as unproductive, can
just look silly.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;"><i>TRAINING,
TRAINING, TRAINING </i>
</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;">No trip wire required here. All of the greatest
& most successful teams and organizations have this tenet at their heart,
so surely there must be something in it. This is one of management’s greatest
responsibilities towards boardroom and staff alike – to make sure that the
company’s most precious resource is in the best possible condition to deliver.
If the staff are not being trained then they are losing edge, and in the 21<sup>st</sup>
Century business environment, that edge (or lack of it) can be enough to decide the issue. </span></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching, helping business leaders, executives, managers and their staff to create a healthy, stress free environment so boosting their bottom line.</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Alan Keyse</b></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.keysforliving.co.uk/">keysforliving.co.uk</a></div>
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">email Alan</span></b></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-68494281868018111422014-03-02T04:03:00.003-08:002014-03-07T07:53:31.376-08:00IS FEAR EVER A USEFUL SUBSTITUTE FOR RESPECT?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b>Following on from a recent blog about the benefits of acknowledging <a href="http://keysforliving.blogspot.com/2014/02/can-accepting-weakness-be-beneficial.html?spref=tw">weakness</a> , a blind alley that individuals, managers and organisations need to be aware of is when fear is confused for respect. </b></span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Actually, such confusion should never arise as they are so completely different, but alas it is all too
common. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Fear, if unchecked, can
create and spread a sense of malaise within a corporate body that can, at
best, impede growth and at worst will wreak havoc within the entire structure of an organisation. Pretty soon, management and staff can find themselves operating in the blind: a culture of
fear.</span></span></span></div>
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<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri;"><i>HARD TIMES, TOUGH CALLS</i></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri;">In recent times, many companies and organisations, large and small, have found themselves in a position when difficult decisions needed to be taken in order to ensure survival and growth (albeit modest). Such measures impact in a very personal way on the lives of individuals be it restructuring, cost savings, maximising on synergies etc. That is not in question here - a good entrepreneur at some point will have to take decisions that require a strong stomach - they are there to lead, even in the teeth of the storm.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri;"> </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri;"><i>FEAR IS NOT FAST TRACK RESPECT</i></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri;">Managing through fearful times is not the same as using that fear as a tool of management. That is a poor
substitute for leadership, in fact, it indicates a lack of any leadership at
all. If management by fear becomes a <i>de facto</i> policy, we should ask on which planet would a negative, vulnerable and
scared workforce operate better than one that is positively motivated, focused
and inspired - recession or no?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span lang="EN-US">A kingdom founded on injustice never lasts</span></i></span></div>
<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<div style="color: black; font-family: Times;">
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<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"><span lang="EN-US">SENECA</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri;"><i>WHEN THE TIDE TURNS<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When the ethos of excess pressure and fear (aka bullying) exists then this is a sign that troubled times lie ahead – </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">and such a culture will begin to display structural flaws</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> most particularly when an economy begins to emerge from recession: </span></span></span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri; text-indent: -24px;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">An organisation's strongest and most able people will be gone at the earliest opportunity (if it has not already happened) – with predictable results</span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri; text-indent: -24px;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">The chances of enticing high achievers will be jeopardised. How can a business take full advantage of increased opportunities when it's most able people work for the competition? </span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri; text-indent: -24px;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Leadership through fear is like 'one club golf' and has no inbuilt flexibility and a very limited life span. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri; text-indent: -24px;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">Shaking off the effects of a fear culture takes time and radical change – but since when did the world of business and opportunity proceed at a leisurely pace?</span></span></li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; text-indent: -18pt;"> If fear runs through
an organisation there is very little that can be done without a radical and
imaginative approach from the executive. This has to come from the top and starts with the core values of the boardroom. A good executive can <i>lead</i> it's people through the toughest times but once opportunities become more plentiful, the whole corporation will come into its own.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-align: center; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="background-color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-align: center; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial;"><i><span style="color: #0b5394;">In
the depth of winter </span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-align: center; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial;"><i><span style="color: #0b5394;">I finally learned that there was in me </span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-align: center; text-indent: -18pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial;"><i><span style="color: #0b5394;">an invincible summer</span></i></span></div>
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<br />
<div style="margin: 0.1pt 0cm; text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">ALBERT
CAMUS, French Nobel Prize winning writer</span></span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri;">In the next blog we shall look closely at how individual managers, regardless of the scale of their responsibilities, can maintain awareness of their performance and in doing so ensure that their people are lead and not pushed.</span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching helping business leaders, executives, managers and their staff to create a healthy, stress free environment so boosting their bottom line.</i></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 24px; margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Alan Keyse</b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="line-height: 24px; margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="http://www.keysforliving.co.uk/">keysforliving.co.uk</a></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<b><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">email Alan</span></b></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="background-color: white; color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-62367472900099437342014-02-12T11:21:00.002-08:002014-02-23T05:42:04.414-08:00CAN ACCEPTING A WEAKNESS BE BENEFICIAL?<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="line-height: 16pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">weakness</span></span></b></div>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><b><i><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">noun</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 16.0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>1.<o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>the state or
condition of being weak.<o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><b><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">synonyms: frailty, <span style="background: white;">feebleness,</span> <span style="background: white;">enfeeblement,</span> <span style="background: white;">puniness,</span> fragility, <span style="background: white;">delicateness,</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>delicacy,<o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>2.<o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>a disadvantage or
fault.<o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>Synonyms: Fault,
flaw, defect, deficiency, weak point/spot, failing, foible, <o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>Shortcoming,
imperfection, blemish, chink in one’s armour</b><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><i>THE POPULAR VIEW</i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">When such definitions and
synonyms are combined with a western puritan work ethic, there is little wonder why our
culture and society views weakness – and in particular admitting we have any – with
such negativity. In many areas of our lives weakness it is seen as, quite simply,
unacceptable. No where is this more pronounced than in the world of business
where accepting weakness is often regarded as kryptonite. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ours is a ‘can do’ society where individuals ‘in
control’, or those who make things happen, especially in the teeth of a storm,
are greatly admired. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri;"><b><br /></b></i>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri;"><b>Real life strategies, especially at work, need more than
gung-ho attitudes to stay the course</b></i></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><i>THE DAMAGE WITHIN <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">A problem we face is that we pften fear our weaknesses
and seek to keep them hidden <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>– sometimes even from ourselves. Such negativity thrives in the dark corners of our
consciousness and if left to its own devices it festers and grows. Many believe
that if they admit to a weakness they will be judged and criticised by
their peers (as if those same peers do not possess weaknesses themselves). The
internal corrosion of fear and self-judgment, and the stress and anxiety it
creates, is not only damaging to our health, but is also completely unnecessary.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><i>ACCEPTING WEAKNESS<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">The acceptance of weakness has to
be clearly defined. Surely we all accept the fact that we are not going to be
good at everything. Our abilities, our thoughts and actions, all have their
ups and downs. <b>Weak points are inevitable,</b> but accepting that fact does not mean
we are giving in to, or indulging, a flaw – it is a simple matter of reality and the
sooner we grasp that fact the sooner we can get on and do something about it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>If we ignore where we’re vulnerable, rest assured our competitors
will not<o:p></o:p></b></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">In businesses one so often hears military
and sporting metaphors being used, but many ignore an attitude to weakness
prevalent in elite sport and the military: they ignore it at their peril. They
may wish to conceal any weaknesses from a tactical point of view, but
behind the scenes their attitude to weakness is realistic, pragmatic with a
very practical and up-beat outlook.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><i>THE BENEFITS OF ACCEPTING
WEAKNESS</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; text-indent: -18pt;">Once
accepted, a weakness can be more easily quantified, understood and then work can begin to do something about
it – a small piece at a time if necessary</span></li>
<li><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; text-indent: -18pt;">There is no
longer a hidden fear linked to our most vulnerable points as we begin to rise
to the challenge of addressing them</span></li>
<li><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; text-indent: -18pt;">When weaknesses
comes to light, be grateful. Knowing they are there is half the battle because
whether we like it or not, they’re there</span></li>
<li><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; text-indent: -18pt;">Being more
intimately acquainted with the topography of our abilities and character makes us better equipped to face life on
<i>our</i> terms. After all, if we know where the ditches are we can avoid driving into them</span></li>
<li><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; text-indent: -18pt;">Enormous motivation
and forward momentum comes from tackling a weakness as opposed to ignoring it</span></li>
<li><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Calibri; text-indent: -18pt;">Whether weaknesses
are neutralised, contained, or even removed altogether, we can then concentrate
on the game winner: playing to our strengths.</span></li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>If we do not manage our weaknesses, we can be certain that, </b></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><b>sooner
or later, they WILL manage us.</b><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">We hone our strengths and seek to
perfect them as they are our vanguard in life. But improving a weakness, even
by a few points can raise our whole performance right across the board. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></span>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Alan Keyse</b></span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
<b style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: #0b5394;"><a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow" style="line-height: normal;">keysforliving.org</a></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: #0b5394;">email Alan</span></b></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-3821177877026106822013-12-18T03:20:00.003-08:002014-01-09T02:54:45.565-08:00QUICK TIPS, EASY WAYS, SIMPLE STEPS? In life development there's no such thing!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #073763;"><b>I write a blog relating to issues I
come across on a regular basis: decision making; obstacles to clear thinking
and focus; self confidence; workplace stress; early depression among
executives, and so on. Just recently a coaching website very kindly agreed to
published one of my missives with the condition that they could affect minor
alterations to fit in with their style and theme. I willingly agreed and
thought no more of it until one of my regularly readers brought my attention to
the title of the piece which had been edited to begin with the words ‘Five Easy
Ways To……’</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #073763;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #073763;">‘Five Easy Ways’, ‘Ten Quick Tips’, ‘Seven simple
steps’, are all anathema to me and unfortunately do my profession, at best, a
huge disservice. Before proceeding I should say that the website concerned
reacted promptly when I pointed out my feelings and they quickly changed the
title to one I could agree with.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #073763;">Blogging by its nature cannot explore a topic in any
depth. It is there </span></span><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Calibri;">to promote interest in a given subject and to provoke the reader to ask questions of themselves and to challenge some of their perspectives. </span><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Calibri;">These mini articles of 300-500 words, however, may offer insights and illustrate behavioural
triggers that can help people to begin to understand how life management and/or
change may be brought about, but that is all. </span><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Calibri;">In our social media centric age we seek snippets of information, fast solutions, and ‘drive-thru’ concepts – but in my profession, to offer people anything other than complete reality is, to put it mildly, profoundly misleading.</span></div>
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<b><br /></b>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 13.35pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';"><i><b>There is no reason that the universe should be
designed for our convenience.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';"><b><span style="font-size: x-small;">John D Barrow (British cosmologist)</span><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #073763;">Our social conditioning began when we were small children
so we have decades worth of beliefs, of knowledge, of family and social norms –
some very good, some we are better off without – to balance. In my experience there is no such thing as a
quick fix when it comes to addressing how we see and think about our world. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #073763;">When discussing managing our businesses or our lives, it takes hard
work, clarity, focus, planning and time. With these factors in place we can
achieve anything we set our minds to. Straightforward it may be – but simple it
aint.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Alan Keyse</b></span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: #073763;"><b>keysforliving.org</b></span></a></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #073763;"><b>email Alan</b></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
</div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-509726224707296842013-12-13T07:48:00.000-08:002013-12-13T07:50:50.563-08:00EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - A Practical Introduction<b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This event and the </span><a href="http://youtu.be/BjdS6urTe18" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">edited video </a><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">was arranged by the 'Interesting Talks' Meetup group, run by Matt Kendall, and took place in Piccadilly, London in October 2013.</span></b><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAFe61yMzfxPnT8VHw1_yUFIvItwICcSldwwRdmkMIqX8BXlixMfPeRrMkAD8NyWJnQWvBD9rpraVC2dVAytD4yTWk9K9T0kphlXby8fZAvhZ0VdnKXncMe2rEqdNX4EFfQEYi_pPMsYY/s1600/Screen+shot+2013-12-13+at+15.41.06.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAFe61yMzfxPnT8VHw1_yUFIvItwICcSldwwRdmkMIqX8BXlixMfPeRrMkAD8NyWJnQWvBD9rpraVC2dVAytD4yTWk9K9T0kphlXby8fZAvhZ0VdnKXncMe2rEqdNX4EFfQEYi_pPMsYY/s640/Screen+shot+2013-12-13+at+15.41.06.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The idea behind <a href="http://youtu.be/BjdS6urTe18">this workshop</a> was to introduce, to a mixed audience, the theory of Emotional Intelligence using Daniel Goleman's model as the basis for discussion.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As you will see, the main themes of the discussion centred around: </span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>THE THEORY OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE</b></span><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The five domains of EI </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The five key skills</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The personal and group benefits of EI</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>NEGATIVITY</b></span><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Group activity: anxiety & negativity triggers</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The potency</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Identifying the symptoms</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Taking action</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>POSITIVITY</b></span><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Filling the void left by negativity</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The power of realistic positivity (Positive Truth)</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Group activity: The 'positive truth' list</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I shall be holding another short workshop in central London early on 2014 and will blog the details in due course.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. </i></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13pt;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alan Keyse</span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow" style="line-height: normal;">keysforliving.org</a></div>
</div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><a href="mailto:info@keysforliving.org" rel="nofollow">email Alan</a></span></div>
</div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-56490914222584955482013-12-02T11:55:00.000-08:002013-12-03T05:52:39.163-08:00COMPASSION - A Workshop<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><span style="color: orange; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>Be kind, for everyone you meet </i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px; text-align: left;"><span style="color: orange; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>is fighting a hard battle </i></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Philo, Alexandria, 1st Century</span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The workshop will be split in to two sessions on Saturday 7 June 2014 and will be part of the <a href="http://erciliademarco.blogspot.com/2013/12/normandy-weekend-june-6-8-2014.html?spref=tw">'Health Getaways Normandy Weekend'</a> retreat being held in Normandy from 6-8 June 2014. The cost of the workshop will be included in the price of the two day retreat. For details of costs and accommodation, plus a full itinerary on request, please <a href="mailto:www.ercilia_demarco@hotmail.com">email Health Getaways</a> or <a href="mailto:info@keysforliving.org">email me directly</a> and I shall be happy to supply you with all the information you need. <o:p></o:p></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It
is not difficult to offer simple kindness and show compassion when things are
going well – we can all do that. The challenge is to be able to share such acts and emotions when we are having a difficult day, or perhaps during a longer period
of burden, the likes of which we all have to experience during our lives. </span><br />
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Compassion
is not something we should seek to compartmentalise in our lives but instead we
can make it relevant throughout our existence be it at work, with
friends or with our family.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our
discussion will encompass a number of broad elements of self compassion and
compassion for others; the challenges facing our compassion; and the benefits when we succeed. Our work will culminate in each individual setting their own goal for compassion and formulating a plan for making the goal a reality.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">WORKSHOP ITINERARY<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">10.00am-12.45pm (including coffee/tea
break)<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Understanding
the nature of guilt and shame</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Active
Listening</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Understanding</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Judgement</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Forgiveness</span></li>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">13.00pm<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Lunch
<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2.00pm<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Afternoon
walk with the rest of the retreat party<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3.00-5.00pm<o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The
roll of meditation</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Setting
a goal for compassion</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Making
the plan happen</span></li>
</ul>
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. </i></span></div>
</div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13pt;"><br /></span></div>
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</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alan Keyse</span></div>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow" style="line-height: normal;">keysforliving.org</a></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #990000;"><a href="mailto:info@keysforliving.org" rel="nofollow">email Alan</a></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-12892456643067163222013-11-16T23:34:00.000-08:002013-11-25T06:32:52.573-08:00SELF AWARENESS (Part 3) - Our emotions and our behaviour <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 13.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">In the final part of this extended blog we will see
how our emotions effect our behaviour and then go on to
look at our strengths and limitations. </span></b><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 13.0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><br />
</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.0pt;">EMOTIONS AND OUR BEHAVIOUR</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">If our moods can determine our thinking
it then follows that this process will also be reflected in our behaviour. But
making that connection from emotion right through to what we do is not always
obvious.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-size: 13pt;"><o:p>W</o:p></span><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 13pt;">e do have to take <b>full responsibility</b> for
our actions, so why leave it to chance? Our emotions can cause a chain reaction
for which we are either unwilling or unprepared. </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 13pt;">The more we understand and are aware of
the nature of the 'behavioural supply chain’, the more we will realise just <b>how
much control we can have</b> - and in this life, real control is a very rare
commodity.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt; text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 18.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">OUR EMOTIONAL STRENGTHS AND LIMITATIONS</span></b><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><b>Knowing our strengths is, of course, important but understanding our
limitations can be just as potent an asset. In fact, failure to appreciate that
we have limitations can be a weakness and may even prove to be a serious flaw.</b></span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 18pt;">If we <b>understand our limitations </b>as well as our strengths we are less
likely to stumble unprepared into a challenge.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 18pt;">Profound knowledge of our capacities leaves us better placed to <b>exploit
our talents</b> to the full and give ourselves every opportunity to succeed. </span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 13pt; line-height: 18pt;">We give ourselves every chance to <b>play to our strengths</b>, and after all,
why would we want to do anything else?</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: 18.0pt;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">The idea is not to prevent the flow of our emotions, but to manage them together with our moods, and to regulate the effect they have on our thinking. It is not
the intention to breed Vulcans. A common question is 'how can I be doing all
these things if I am to concentrate on my work?' The point is that, like any
other skill, the more we practice, the more it becomes second nature.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span>
<br />
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<br />
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. </i></span></div>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="line-height: normal;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alan Keyse</span></div>
<a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow" style="line-height: normal;">keysforliving.org</a><br />
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #990000;"><a href="mailto:info@keysforliving.org" rel="nofollow">email Alan</a></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-35541661546136465872013-11-16T23:06:00.001-08:002013-11-25T06:32:21.362-08:00SELF AWARENESS (Part 2) - Our emotions and our thinking<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 13.0pt;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Following on from Part 1 when we looked at the <a href="http://keysforliving.blogspot.com/2013/11/self-awareness-part-1-controlling-our.html?spref=tw">physical effects</a> our emotions can have on us, we shall now see ways in which our moods can profoundly influence our thinking. </span></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">EMOTIONS AND OUR THINKING</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;">Quite simply, negative emotions cause
negative thinking and the fact that what we think determines what we do and therefore how we live our life, this is of crucial importance to us. </span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 13.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list 36.0pt; text-indent: 0cm;">
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 13pt; text-indent: 0cm;">Our mental energy is one of our most
valuable resources, but how much of it has to be diverted to dealing with
feelings of frustration, irritation, anger or even fear and anxiety? Surely our mental energy would be better expended managing the direction of a
meeting or delivering a presentation?</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 13pt; text-indent: 0cm;">Negative emotions almost always move us
into negative thinking, and if that those thoughts become personal in
nature, perhaps there is a danger that we can fall into the trap of losing focus and 'playing the man
and not the ball'? How often have you been in a meeting and see personal frictions influencing a discussion? </span><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 17.27272605895996px; text-indent: 0cm;">We can become distracted from the aims of a task because our thinking has been led on walkabout by our emotions.</span></li>
<li><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 13pt; text-indent: 0cm;">Constant awareness of the relationship between our emotions and moods on the one hand, and our thinking on the other, ensures that we can retain far greater control of what happens next.</span></li>
</ul>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue;"><span style="font-size: 17.27272605895996px;">In Part 3 of this blog we shall be looking at the effects our emotions can have on the 'behaviour supply chain' at the point of delivery: <a href="http://keysforliving.blogspot.com/2013/11/self-awareness-part-3-controlling-our.html?spref=tw">our behaviour</a>.</span></span></div>
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<br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. </i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alan Keyse</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #990000;"><a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow">keysforliving.org</a></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;">email Alan</span></div>
<div>
</div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-23819349861237890662013-11-06T14:57:00.002-08:002013-11-25T06:31:47.652-08:00SELF AWARENESS (Part 1) - Emotions & our physical state<b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #073763;">Whether we know it or not, we all possess Emotional Intelligence to a greater or lesser extent, and in the first of three blogs on the subject we shall take a look at the fundamental role of self awareness in developing our EI.</span></span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #073763;">Our ability to be aware of and to manage our emotions on a consistent basis, and then to apply our EI to other people and even groups, is not easy. The good news is that it is a skill that we can learn, enhance, and ultimately command. </span><span style="color: #073763;">It all begins with self awareness, and in mastering the 'self' we can gain control of what could be called the 'behaviour supply chain'</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span>
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>SELF AWARENESS</b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763;">The main step towards this is to develop much higher levels of awareness of our moods and emotions, as they occur, moment by moment. Abandon all thoughts of navel gazing - this refers to a very practical approach to understanding and then managing our “behavioural supply chain”, from inception to delivery! Our emotions, particularly when negative, can provoke both thought patterns and reactions that can adversely affect decision making, quality of management, and leadership.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763;">In order to attain such control, we need an intimate awareness of our emotions and the knock on effect they can have on our lives. In that way we can become used to intervening with negative emotions as soon as we are aware of them and we can learn to do this by understanding how our emotions affect three main areas:</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. EMOTIONS AND OUR PHYSICAL STATE</span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Although our emotions can have serious effects on our thought process, quite often the first thing we know about it is through physical sensations. This is particularly the case, for example, during stressful meetings. Many of us will have experience some of the following physical sensations either before or during a challenging meeting:</span></div>
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<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Neck stiffening</span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shoulders tensing </span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tight throat </span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pressure on the chest</span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Feeling a block in the stomach </span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Throttling your pen!</span></li>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Feeling hot </span></li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Although we may know when we are feeling stressed. we may not fully understand the causes. Furthermore, if we recognise we are experiencing these types of physical sensations, our state of mind may not be lost on others in the meeting. If, however, we are sensitive to the meaning of physical manifestations, they can become useful 'trip wires' for making us pay close attention to our thinking and to taking measures to counter those sensations.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In Part 2 we shall look at the effects our emotions can have on <a href="http://keysforliving.blogspot.com/2013/11/self-awareness-part-2-controlling-our.html?spref=tw">our thinking</a>.</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u><br /></u></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. </i></span><br />
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alan Keyse</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #990000;"><a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow">keysforliving.org</a></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><a href="mailto:info@keysforliving.org" rel="nofollow">email Alan</a></span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-75887183593160785772013-10-28T16:03:00.000-07:002013-11-12T13:21:07.605-08:00BREAKING OUT OF YOUR 'DISCOMFORT ZONE' <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The foundation on which all self-development is
built upon is challenge – that is, our capacity to successfully challenge
ourselves and push out the boundaries of our comfort zones. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGjU48KOPCAyMCy_yXEfwMcyMVUS9zxeXt8z4jhvO27kB39JFwd1J0S2w6mQfQeWshR8ssxwGRLjodQmubR2ng75yFgOH8xPdB5VS3w8XpD-9tLaXR19lAh30GHCFbBd3IRvMNvMLaSmc/s1600/Rickety+fence.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGjU48KOPCAyMCy_yXEfwMcyMVUS9zxeXt8z4jhvO27kB39JFwd1J0S2w6mQfQeWshR8ssxwGRLjodQmubR2ng75yFgOH8xPdB5VS3w8XpD-9tLaXR19lAh30GHCFbBd3IRvMNvMLaSmc/s200/Rickety+fence.JPG" width="159" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Even though there may be the urge to create something different in our lives,
the familiarity of our present existence - no matter how unhappy we are in our
malaise – can sometimes make the challenge seem insurmountable. This is what
should more accurately be called our discomfort zone: it leaves us unhappy and
unfulfilled but the energy required to overcome the inertia can sometimes be
hard to come by.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The discomfort zone can be years, possibly even decades, in the making. During
our lives we have layer upon layer of conditioning from our parents, our
friends, our peer group, school, college, workplace etc. Not all of the
conditioning will be positive yet it influences greatly our thinking and
therefore our behaviour, habits, and beliefs. So change will not always come
easily and certain aspects of negative conditioning will not fade quietly away.
In fact, it’s going to put up a fight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">There is plentiful advice online offering change and personal development
in ‘5 easy steps’, ‘11 simple ways’ or claims of being able to change our lives
in a week – and if we believe it then we are going to be sorely disappointed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background: white; color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">‘Patience,</span><span style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> persistence <span style="background: white;">and</span> perspiration <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background: white; color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">make an
unbeatable combination for success.’</span><span style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">NAPOLEON HILL<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The truth is, there are no quick fixes and no personal development
equivalent of the ‘8 minute abs’. As Jon Kabat-Zinn said when referring to
learning to practice meditation in his MBSR programme ‘It’s simple but not
easy’. So too of any change we wish to make in our lives or challenges we need
to overcome in business. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">So, what do we need to bring to the table in order to overcome the
inertia of our discomfort zone and make reality of our goals? Each time I begin
work with a new client be it corporate or personal, on-to-one or groups (in the
final analysis, it’s all personal) I always highlight the following prerequisites:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">DESIRE<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">No matter how much someone
else wants it for you, that will not be enough. <i>You</i> have to want it with a passion. Your desire will be the engine
room of the change you wish to undertake and there are going to be various
obstacles that you will need to tackle on the way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">IMAGINATION </span></i></b><i><span style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Can you view yourself
from different perspectives to your norm? Can you step back and look at your
life with a certain detachment? Being as objective as possible can be
challenging but can also be very rewarding when challenging the conditioning
that may have thwarted you in the past. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">DISCIPLINE</span></i></b><i><span style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">You need to dedicate time
during your week to work on the tasks you set yourself. This means good
planning to match an inspirational goal – and not losing sight of the target!
By allocating time to get the job done you keep your mind clear when you have
to focus on your objectives – but be tough about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i><span style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">HONESTY</span></i></b><i><span style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The decision whether
or not to be honest with people is fairly straightforward. A clear awareness of
honesty with yourself, however, is not always as clear-cut. It is, however,
essential to the whole process otherwise you will stall even before you get
going. Self-honesty may not always be comfortable, but why waste a life doing
otherwise?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">If you can put a tick
next to these headings there is nothing that cannot be achieved if you combine
passion, planning and hard work. All you have to do is make the decision and
once this is done, there’s nothing that can stop you breaking out of the
discomfort zone – for keeps. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #666666;">Alan Keyse specialises in coaching Emotional Intelligence to
business leaders, managers and their staff – in groups or on a 1 to 1 basis. He
also speaks and holds workshops encouraging the use of mindfulness principles
in business.<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #990000;"><a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow">keysforliving.org</a></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="mailto:info@keysforliving.org" rel="nofollow"><span style="color: #990000;">Comments/Feedback Direct to Alan</span></a><br />
<a href="https://twitter.com/keysforliving" rel="nofollow"><span style="color: #990000;">Twitter @keysforliving</span></a><br />
<a href="http://www.facebook.com/keysforliving" rel="nofollow"><span style="color: #990000;">Facebook</span></a></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-37164642492006403302013-10-23T13:49:00.001-07:002013-10-23T13:59:58.413-07:00EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - A practical Introduction (Video Extract)<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I was delighted to be asked by Matt Kendall of <a href="http://www.meetup.com/Interesting-Talks-London/" rel="nofollow">Interesting Talks - London</a> to give a practical overview of Emotional Intelligence - Picadilly, London, Monday 21 October 2013.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The main themes of the evening were: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">the definition, domains & key skills of EI </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">the role of mindfulness in the study & practice of EI</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">awareness of the corrosive nature of daily 'low level' negativity in the workplace</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">replacing negativity with </span><u style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">real</u><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> positivity</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">During the course of the 2 hour session the seventy members were split into groups to list and discuss their own awareness of their personal points of stress; their negativity triggers; and finally, personal positive truths about themselves. Everyone got involved and contributed to a lively and enjoyable evening.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Below is a brief extract taken half way through the evening.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Alan Keyse</span><br />
<a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">keysforliving.org</span></a><br />
<a href="mailto:info@keysforliving.org" rel="nofollow"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">email Alan</span></a><br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/gTxH1hOv2D0" width="459"></iframe>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-59477328766664698932013-10-11T02:16:00.003-07:002013-12-05T02:08:39.094-08:00HOW HARD IS IT TO CHALLENGE YOUR OWN THINKING?<div class="Body1">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>We have all at some point in our working lives, been confronted
by a challenge that has halted us in our tracks. It would be difficult to find
people who occupy positions of responsibility who have not.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS8wrT0-Q9DTKVNqvcPi_qHKaZU5IIKSPnm_7nDTF1tIDXQLRrU3UH99qxyodGu8mTPVoLh6yplp83PA-DEzcMSytLKCItF6eXaHFGTXsm2oQ2v1vdG9tVm-02BJ8GjF8lUBsqCZfj5bA/s1600/Swiss+Guard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="96" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjS8wrT0-Q9DTKVNqvcPi_qHKaZU5IIKSPnm_7nDTF1tIDXQLRrU3UH99qxyodGu8mTPVoLh6yplp83PA-DEzcMSytLKCItF6eXaHFGTXsm2oQ2v1vdG9tVm-02BJ8GjF8lUBsqCZfj5bA/s400/Swiss+Guard.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The Swiss Guard, St Peter's Square, Rome</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">It is at
these times when our levels of stress and anxiety can rise dramatically as we
begin to cast around for answers and feel increasingly strained as satisfactory
solutions escape us.</span> One of our greatest potential handicaps when it
comes to thinking our way through a problem is that when under pressure we tend
to fall back to more conservative thinking – where we feel more secure – our
default setting.</span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: orange; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">QUESTIONS
CONDITION ANSWERS<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">The
decisions we take and the choices we make are conditioned by the questions we
ask of ourselves, of others, or of a problem. When meeting a challenge, the
nature of the questions we pose will follow in line with our thinking. This
means that the answers we receive will be also be conditioned because of the nature
of our questioning which can possibly become predictable, preset, and can lack
flexibility when perhaps it could be most useful.</span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: orange; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">PRESET BELIEFS CAN STIFLE CREATIVITY<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Predictable
solutions may reinforce beliefs we already hold and can keep potential (and
sometimes better) answers hidden from us. A particular belief could be holding
us back from resolving a problem or meeting a challenge and we may not even
realise it. If we care to look, the perspective of questions others may pose can
often be far more illuminating in areas we did not think to explore.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“We don’t
see things as they are, we see them as we are”</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anais Nin</span></div>
</div>
<div class="Body1">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div class="Body1">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><span style="color: orange;">AN UNFAMILIAR ROUTE</span><span style="color: #073763;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">A useful
and sometimes challenging exercise, is to abandon usual lines of thought &
follow instead a thread someone else puts forward - usually a friend or a
colleague. Such suggestions we may often dismiss out of hand if they do not
comply with our default settings (to which we are so very attached). Certainly
this exercise can make us feel uncomfortable because we are taken out of our
comfort zone and compelled to move in a direction that would not be our
automatic choice. But to challenge ourselves by testing to destruction
unconventional lines of thought can be very rewarding. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="Body1" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Isn’t banging our head against a brick wall
just nature’s way <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="Body1" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">of telling us to try something else?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="Body1" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: orange;"><i>THE MORE UNCOMFORTABLE WE FEEL </i><i>–</i><i>
THE GREATER THE REWARDS CAN BE</i></span></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">This is
particularly true where we have previously met obstacles that are particularly
problematic. Simply put, if this way will not work then take a run at it from a
different angle. Why waste our mental energy on a frontal assault when a
flanking movement is what is needed? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: orange; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">CLARITY & FOCUS<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Changing
our perspectives will also serve a useful purpose even if it merely confirms
that we were on the right line already. This enables us to press forwarded with
reinforced confidence because we have properly considered other routes. To
fully consider and discount an alternative can offer us greater clarity, focus,
and motivation. At least we have travelled a different way for a short while
and explored new possibilities.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"We cannot use the same thinking to get ourselves out of a problem</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> that got us in there in the first place"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
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<div class="Body1">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">There is
always a way out of a maze - it is sometimes helpful simply to come to a
problem or challenge from a slightly different direction in order to get a
stalled situation on the move once again. While true and lasting change may not
come easily, the journey can be exhilarating and liberating once the shackles
of our own modes and conventions have been shed.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span style="color: #073763;"><span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><br /></span>
<span style="mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">
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<!--EndFragment--></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #073763; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Alan Keyse specializes in coaching Emotional Intelligence to
business leaders, managers and their staff – in groups or on a 1 to 1 basis. He
also speaks and holds workshops encouraging the use of mindfulness principles
in business.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<span style="color: #073763; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow">keysforliving.org</a></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.facebook.com/keysforliving" rel="nofollow">FACEBOOK</a></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="https://twitter.com/keysforliving" rel="nofollow">TWITTER</a></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://uk.linkedin.com/in/alankeyse" rel="nofollow">LINKEDIN</a></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-9661080119737028162013-10-03T03:22:00.003-07:002013-11-18T02:23:40.365-08:00WHY ARE YOU SO TOUGH ON YOURSELF? PART 1<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The Dalai Lama said
that it is “…through compassion that we gain the conditions for genuine
happiness”. The compassion of which he speaks is also due in full measure, I
believe, to ourselves.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">How can we expect ourselves to compete and advance in our careers when we handicap ourselves with rigorous standards we would not impose on others? Where is the logic in wanting to so burden ourselves that we put ourselves at an unnecessary disadvantage? Why so often are we unprepared to treat ourselves as equally deserving as anyone else? In doing so we
are putting ourselves at the back of the starting grid for no good reason.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We live in a hectic,
digital, globalised age where obvious material success is king and self-awareness
and compassion are seen by many as an indulgence and even a weakness. In such
an environment, encouraging people to show <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">themselves</i> simple kindness can be challenging. The<i> </i>honesty and openness that is required to find compassion for oneself
does not always come easily. I am not asking for special treatment for
ourselves, but that we make allowances for our weaknesses, shortcomings, and
failings, in the same way we would give, for example, to our close colleagues.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">FAILING CAN BE A KEY TO SUCCESS</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Striving, falling and
striving again underlies human development throughout its entire existence. In
fact, the fall is inevitable given that we <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are</i> human. What gives us the potential for greatness, however
we define it, is our capacity for perseverance. We must, therefore, forgive
ourselves our stumbles and carry on for it is immediately after a set back that
comes our opportunity for achievement. Kicking ourselves over an error is not
only a waste of energy, but we could be missing an opportunity while we are
doing it.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />
In the second part of this blog we shall look at easy steps we can take to giving ourselves the level playing field we deserve.<br />
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">FAILING ISN’T FAILURE – QUITTING IS</span></i></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #7f7f7f; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #999999;">Alan Keyse specialises in coaching Emotional Intelligence to
business leaders, managers and their staff – in groups or on a 1 to 1 basis. He
also speaks and holds workshops encouraging the use of mindfulness principles
in business.<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span></o:p></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><span style="color: #990000;">Alan Keyse</span></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow"><span style="color: #990000;">keysforliving.org</span></a></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p><a href="mailto:info@keysforliving.org" rel="nofollow"><span style="color: #990000;">e-mail Alan</span></a> </o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-73723308557266796692013-10-03T03:19:00.002-07:002013-11-18T02:24:36.046-08:00WHY ARE YOU SO TOUGH ON YOURSELF? PART 2<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #990000;">We are our own toughest
critics and there is nothing wrong with setting high standards for ourselves
and, by example, for others. If, however, the pressure we exert on ourselves is
relentless & our standards are unrealistic, it serves no useful purpose other
than being a latter day hair shirt. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We are not nearly so strict with our work
colleagues, friends or family. All I am asking is that we seek to remove that
extra special dose of pressure that we reserve for ourselves. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Showing compassion to
ourselves will not happen overnight. Decades of social conditioning that has
taught us to 'push' ourselves will not just evaporate. So what basic elements
do we need to have in place to get us on our way?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #990000; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">FORGIVENESS</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This is the first essential
ingredient for setting the past down and moving on. Through self-forgiveness we
develop that kindness that understands the times when we have made mistakes and
poor choices. It allows us to learn valuable lessons without the added burden
of continued recrimination.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #990000; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">NO LABELS </span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">If a friend fails, we can
acknowledge they have failed but we do not label them a failure. How often are
we pitiless with ourselves in similar circumstances and reach for the branding
iron? Our innate sense of justice & fair play must ensure that we give to
ourselves a fair. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #990000; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">MOTIVATION </span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Observe well our motives
and if they are founded in right action - to the best of our abilities - how
can we be harsh with ourselves?</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #990000; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">PATIENCE</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">It will not come overnight
so work at it patiently. Provided progress is being made it does not
necessarily have to be with giant steps. As in all personal development,
forward momentum is everything - speed is optional.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #990000; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">HONESTY</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">If we are honest about </span><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">who we are and what we aspire to –
abandoning self criticism and judgment in favour of openness and seeing
ourselves as a deserving human being – internal kindness will not be hard
to come by.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Compassion is a gentle but
very powerful emotion and the process of opening our lives and our hearts to
self kindness is equally gentle. Compassion is there to be embraced, not
grasped. The more we sense the natural power of compassion, the easier and more
natural it will be to have it become part of how we perceive our world, how we
progress in our jobs, and how we live our lives.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #999999;">Alan Keyse specialises in coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, managers and their staff – in groups or on a 1 to 1 basis. He also speaks and holds workshops encouraging the use of mindfulness principles in business.<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div>
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></span></i></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Alan Keyse</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow">keysforliving.org</a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="mailto:info@keysforliving.org" rel="nofollow"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">e-mail Alan</span></a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-64306271253646117862013-09-07T04:13:00.003-07:002013-12-20T01:36:34.563-08:00CONFLICT AT WORK: CAN YOU SEE IT COMING? (Part 2)<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">THE NOBLEST PLEASURE IS THE JOY OF
UNDERSTANDING </span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Leonardo da Vinci</span><span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 9.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Once conflict gets its feet under the
table it can take on a life of it’s own and become increasingly
self-perpetuating over time. Anything negative about another person can be
amplified and used to justify an opposing stance and positivity and optimism
stand little chance when arguing. In addition, flexibility and compromise
become stifled as they are seen as weakness and likely to undermine an
argument.</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">In the midst of such
tension what can be done in order to break the cycle of negativity, provide
mediation and offer resolution? How can an environment for balanced reason,
where compromise can be developed, be established? </span><span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Ultimately this is an
issue of leadership as the effectiveness of staff, and the performance of the
company are at stake – so the impetus has to be provided from the top down.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">DOES THE COMPANY CLEARLY SET OUT ITS
CORE VALUES?</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Core values come from
the top and go to the heart of what makes the corporate body tick. All
employees therefore, from the boardroom down, need to have these values
ingrained into their personal work culture – and this includes the absolute
need for an <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">esprit de corps</i> running
through the whole company. The senior executives in particular need to live and
breathe these values so setting the standard for behaviour. Once this beacon is
lit no individual or group within the company can be left in any doubt as to
what is expected.</span><span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">MEDIATION</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">If management chooses
to mediate (be it directly or by bringing in outside support) it can send out a
very clear and positive message. Trying to impose a resolution is no solution
at all but merely suppression. In mediation the parties concerned are involved
in a dialogue, at first either individually or together, regarding the creation
of an environment for understanding. The discussion will outline the shared
benefits of harmony for the company and for their individual happiness and
fulfilment at work. The parties have to ask themselves, which is more
important, victory or resolution? Once it is agreed that ‘victory’ is not only
unattainable but also damaging, and that continued strife is unacceptable, how
do they wish to participate in what happens next?</span><span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">MUTUAL OWNERSHIP OF THE PROBLEM</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Have the parties talk
about how the situation makes them feel and how they react to those emotions?
Looking at themselves, what could each one do to improve their attitude in the
circumstances be it their actions or their reactions? At the appropriate time
have both parties explain their point of view to one another including how the
situation and the actions of the other person makes them feel. Have them set
out how a better environment would benefit them personally, the colleague in
question, and for the business that employs them both.</span><span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Mediating a resolution
to a conflict is about understanding from all sides: what we do; how we react;
and the effects of our actions, whether or not we regard ourselves as the
victim. Mediation is about understanding our real needs, those of our
colleagues and of the company as a whole. It is about abandoning the trenches
and stepping into the middle ground where issues can be observed, discussed and
where understanding can go to work.</span><span style="color: #17365d; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.5pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #999999;">Alan Keyse specialises in coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, managers and their staff – in groups or on a 1 to 1 basis. He also speaks and holds workshops encouraging the use of mindfulness principles in business.<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div>
<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #999999;"><br /></span></span></i></div>
<a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">keysforliving.org</a><br />
<a href="mailto:info@keysforliving.org" rel="nofollow"><span style="color: #990000;">E-mail Alan</span></a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-38645642802380365592013-09-02T07:55:00.002-07:002013-11-17T10:15:49.736-08:00TO DO LISTS: REMEMBER WHO'S IN CHARGE (Part 2)<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #990000;">In <a href="http://keysforliving.blogspot.com/2013/08/to-do-lists-remember-whos-in-charge.html?spref=tw">Part One</a> of this blog I discussed the problems that can be posed by attitudes
to ‘To Do lists’, especially in the workplace, when people find themselves labouring under the burden of excessive stress. We looked at the possible adverse reactions and counter
productive effects that the spectre of increasingly overloaded ‘To Do lists’
can have.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">In this second part I
wish to offer some thoughts intended to break the cycle of negative thinking surrounding 'To Do' lists, and help to overcome the inertia caused when the effects of stress begin to
dominate the working day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">MAKE ‘EM MANAGABLE<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">If faced with a list of, say, 30+ items people can become overwhelmed before they even get going.
If items on a list cannot be done this morning, or today, reduce the list to
things that can so creating a 'Day List'. Its much better to focus on a five or ten point list that is getting done rather than a huge raft of things that are not. This may seem like
a small ‘mind game’ but it works. If we concentrate on what we are achieving as
opposed to what is yet to be achieved, it can have a significant effect. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">MAKE EACH ITEM REALISTIC<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Make sure the list is
made up of items and not concepts. The items have to be 'do-able' and not open ended. There is no point including 'Return all my calls' if it's never going to happen. To avoid having
items lingering on the list from one day to another, break it down by, the case of telephone calls, itemising exactly who is going to be called. If an item is unrealistic or
unlikely to get done then it does not go on the list. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">TAKE ONE AT A TIME<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Too obvious? ‘To Do
lists’ can be so intimidating for some people that an emphasis on being single
minded about tackling the items one at a time is essential. Multi-tasking, a
buzz phrase of the age, is all well and good, but if we need to break the cycle
of negative thoughts that cause inertia, dealing systematically with each task
in hand is a great way of breaking the psychological log jam. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">CAN SOMEONE ELSE DO THAT ONE?<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Delegation is too
large a topic to include in any detail here but in a larger organisation it’s
vital to employ this essential management skill. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE
RIGHT… <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This is closely
linked to successful delegation, so let’s be sure what ‘done right’ means. Does
it mean, done the way I like/want it? Would someone else’s way be just as good?
We have to be able to work around different work techniques so becoming more
flexible and therefore more effective managers. Often someone else’s way may
well get the job done – we may have to accept that our way is only <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">a</i> right way, and not necessarily <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">the</i> right way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">PRIORITISE, PRIORITISE,
PRIORITISE<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Think carefully about
what needs to be done in order of precedence. Forget the ‘but I need to do it
all’ thing. That’s not been happening so why should today be any different? So prioritise, and push off the day list that which does
not need doing immediately. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">These suggestions are
not meant as a blueprint to fundamentally change working practice but rather
to help kick start a different mind-set. Although an alternative perspective is what may be required, it still has to come from within each individual in a way that best suits them if the battle against stress is to be effective over time. One such perspective is to take back control over how we tackle our working day, and if in order to do so we need to get back to basics, then so be it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Related article:
<a href="http://keysforliving.blogspot.com/2013/08/to-do-lists-remember-whos-in-charge.html?spref=tw">TO DO LISTS: REMEMBER WHO'S IN CHARGE (Part 1)</a><br />
</span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alan Keyse</span></div>
<a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: black;">keysforliving.org</span></a><br />
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
email Alan<br />
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<span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-76492272006917412202013-08-29T10:19:00.001-07:002013-11-17T10:20:11.262-08:00TO DO LISTS: REMEMBER WHO'S IN CHARGE (Part 1)<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">In an
intensely competitive and, occasionally, unforgiving business environment, it has
never been more important to maximise our efficiency so ensuring we maintain
pace with the demands the world appears to impose upon us. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">As a useful tool to
aid our own time management and productivity many of us use ‘To Do lists'. In a
recent conversation, however, I was reminded of the pitfalls that can come when
these lists are allowed to manage us - instead of vice versa. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">For example, when people are feeling vulnerable from the effects of too much stress and anxiety at work the 'To Do list' can
become a stick with which they beat themselves. E-mail in-boxes can have a similar
effect, but that’s for another day.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">So when does the transition from useful asset to burden occur? Are there tell
tale signs that 'To Do lists' are no longer working for us?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p><br /></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p><i><span style="color: #990000;">WHEN WE KNOW 'TO DO LISTS ARE NOT ON OUR SIDE...</span></i></o:p></span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Their main effect is
as a constant reminder of the sheer weight of work yet to be done – and within
us there’s no room for discussion as it’s all there in black and white staring us in the face.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The list will not
let us forget how behind we have fallen as new items are loaded on to the
bottom of the list while things are not coming off the top quickly enough.</span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri;">In some cases the list
can undermine self-esteem as our mental energy stalls at the prospect of the
mounting number of tasks to be done. We begin to self criticise and to judge ourselves
as not being up to the job. </span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not only do we not do
what is on the list, but we start making repeat lists of the same items with
revisions and additions.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="color: #990000;">Once we get into this mind set the priority is to get out of it and not to keep swimming against a tide where the law of diminishing returns begins to take hold.</span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In a few days I shall post the second part of this blog that will provide some tips as to how to assemble and use 'To Do lists' in such a way to avoid them becoming a rod for our backs. What goes on to the list needs to be every bit as important as our getting jobs done – so by following simple criteria we can ensure that the To Do list remains a useful tool instead of the craftsman!</span><span style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">RELATED ARTICLE: <a href="http://keysforliving.blogspot.com/2013/09/to-do-lists-remember-whos-in-charge.html?spref=tw">TO DO LISTS: REMEMBER WHO'S IN CHARGE (part 2)</a></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. </i></span></div>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13pt;"><br /></span>
<br />
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</div>
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<div style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alan Keyse</span></div>
<a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow" style="line-height: normal;">keysforliving.org</a><br />
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #990000;">email Alan</span><br />
<div>
<span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-56265608869853443022013-05-06T02:44:00.003-07:002013-11-12T13:26:45.059-08:00CAN YOUR THINKING HOLD UP UNDER PRESSURE?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #943634; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">I have been working with Emotional Intelligence (EI)* for many years. During my 3 decades as a sales executive I found it to be an
invaluable asset, and more recently, in my role as a business and life coach, I
have encouraged my clients to harness its huge potential.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #943634; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt;">Put simply, EI enables us to know how we tick. With
it we become experts at being aware of our thoughts and emotions as they are
forming and therefore being able to control how we interface with our world. </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;">This ability, or lack of it, can impact decisively on every aspect
of our lives but most acutely in business. Whether we are in an executive post,
responsible for managing teams and departments, or a colleague in an organization,
our level of EI will determine just how successful we are by determining how effectively
we can bring our main skill-sets to bear in our given role.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #943634; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">WHAT ARE THE PRACTICAL BENEFITS OF GOOD EI? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Recognising our stress triggers and those of people around us</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Increasing our clarity and focus when under pressure</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Helping us to communicate effectively</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Greater empathy with our colleagues</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Resolving conflict - we are 'ahead of the game' when emotions are raw</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Having positive body language and also being sensitive to the physical cues of others</span></li>
</ol>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">As has already been intimated, as we gain a greater understanding
and skill in managing ourselves, with increased levels of EI we also enjoy greater
positive influence with colleagues and customers - in fact anyone with whom we
come into contact.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14.44444465637207px;">THE GOOD NEWS IS...</span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">....that EI is a skill and as such can be taught. Like
all skills, some will have a greater predisposition than others but all can
acquire this essential asset from learning the theory, putting it into practice
& having the desire to see it happen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #943634; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">THE FOUR ATTRIBUTES OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Self-awareness</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> – Becoming
acquainted with our own emotions & the effects they have on us physically, in
our thinking and how we behave. Understanding our emotional strengths and
limitations.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Self-Management</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> - Once we
have the self-awareness we are a good position to better control our behaviour
and reactions to people and events. We also become more flexible during
changing or challenging circumstances <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Social awareness</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> - Understanding
the emotions, wants and needs of those around us. Being more attuned to other’s
body language and moods, be it individually or in a group dynamic.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Relationship Management</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> - Be at the
centre of developing and managing good relationships and communications. Being
a more effective manager or team player, and pick up early signs of potential
friction and conflicts.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Our Emotional Intelligence is every bit as important as the
capabilities and skill sets we need to fulfill the requirements of our jobs.
There has been much academic research in this subject since the mid 1990s and
one study illustrated that, in business, up to </span><span style="color: #1f242e; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">90% of the difference between high-flyers and average performers can be
attributed to EI. Emotional Intelligence, therefore, is an essential element for
anyone who is determined to perform at their very best.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f242e;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">*While the popular abbreviation for Emotional Intelligence is EQ, Dr Daniel Goleman prefers EI as it is less confusing and keeps the focus on the message.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: #999999;">Alan Keyse specialises in coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, managers and their staff – in groups or on a 1 to 1 basis. He also speaks and holds workshops encouraging the use of mindfulness principles in business.<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<a href="http://youtu.be/at1W6yTV5aE" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt;">Introductory Video</a></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/">www.keysforliving.org</a></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">info@keysforliving.org</span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-61815930170673510602013-05-02T15:15:00.000-07:002013-09-03T08:23:57.275-07:00INTRODUCTORY VIDEO - ONE TO ONE SESSIONS<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is the briefest of introductions to give a flavour of the way I work during face to face sessions with my clients. Please bear in mind that as well as in person I am also happy to conduct sessions online via Skype or Facetime.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/at1W6yTV5aE?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">During the coming months I look forward to adding more specific short videos focusing on particular aspects of my work such as: </span></div>
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<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Emotional intelligence</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Positive truth</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Recognising negativity</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Low self esteem</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Stress/anxiety management</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Conflict resolution</span></li>
</ol>
<div>
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alan Keyse</span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">info@keysforliving.org</span><br />
<span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www%2Ckeysforliving.org/">www,keysforliving.org</a></span></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-85860287424907844032013-04-24T01:55:00.003-07:002013-11-17T01:52:00.864-08:00HOW CAN WE MANAGE EXPECTATIONS?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #943634; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Expectation and disappointment are often two sides
of the same coin but the experience between expectations in our businesses as
opposed to our personal lives can be very different indeed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">BUSINESS vs
PRIVATE EXPECATIONS<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">In business, we actively invite positive expectations from our clients
and customers as a crucial part of our marketing strategy. Of course this ramps
up our responsibility to ‘deliver’ but at the same time increases our appeal to
new and existing business. The main motivation driving the expectation is a
successful and satisfying business experience. Trust and belief will also be
important elements, especially in longer standing business relationships, but these
expectations follow a very different dynamic to that in our personal lives: here, with colleagues, friends and family the emphases of expectations can take
on completely different dimensions. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">In our private lives, we can often impose our expectations uninvited.
This can make both us and the other person hostages to disappointment and can be inherently risky: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">THE RISKS OF
EXPECTATIONS<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: -18pt;">We invest
our high hopes and trust in an individual or a group.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: -18pt;">We transfer to
them the responsibility of being custodian of those hopes. Once hope, trust and,
sometimes, even love are put into the same mix we can understand just how
potent this cocktail can be. Once bestowed w</span><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: -18pt;">e have
absolutely no control over what the other person is going to do with it.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: -18pt;">So exposed,
we often deny the other person the right to fail which, of course, is
unrealistic given the element of humanity.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">With this potentially potent and unstable formula in place, if
people fail to live up to our expectations, the effects on us can be dramatic -
far more than if we are disappointed in business. Like anything else we perch high
on a pedestal, if they ‘fail us’ there is only one direction they can go.</span></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">IT’S NOT ALL
BAD NEWS<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">There is, however, another dimension to personal expectations. The
American engineer Charles Kettering wrote “High achievement takes place in the
framework of high expectation” which, if true, would indicate that it’s not all
bad news. Living up to the </span><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">expectations of others can make us feel good about ourselves and can
spur us on to tapping into potential we did not realise we possessed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">It is here that we can follow the example we set in our businesses
as how to best manage expectations. Good businesses do it successfully all the
time – in fact, they thrive on it. Good communication lies at the heart of
successful management and this could not be more essential than in managing
expectations:</span><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">THE ROUTE TO
MANAGING EXPECTATIONS</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: -18pt;">If we are proactive in
communicating both good and bad news, this will alleviate any confusion over
expectations which are notoriously subjective.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Being aware
of and observing our expectations can better help us to manage our reaction in
the event they are not met. Let us try to be selective and ensure our
expectations are in proportion.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Realistic
expectations mean achievability – but deciding what is achievable requires a
detached objectivity: a challenge in itself.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Expectations
are subjective and given that none of us are mind readers the more we know about
what the other party has on their mind the better.</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Both parties need to be
clear on what is reasonable to expect, what is manageable. Being direct and
transparent is as every bit as important at home as it is at work.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Establish a mutual
respect necessary to ensure openness. Being a "yes man or woman" will
never add to the clarity of any situation. </span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Active listening is one
of the most misunderstood and least used tools in managing expectations and yet
it is one of the most effective tools we possess.</span></li>
<li><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; text-indent: -18pt;">Dialogue must be regular
– it’s better to speak up early on if we
feel we have a problem with our expectations rather than delay and have to deal
with a full blown crisis.</span></li>
</ol>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">We
all understand the human emotional dimension of not having our expectations met
or of failing to meet those of others. These experiences are, at best,
uncomfortable. But we can overcome the challenge by a regular flow of
information, in both directions, to ensure that we give ourselves the very best
chance of keeping ourselves, and those around us, off the pedestal.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background-color: white; line-height: 18pt;">
<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. </i></span></div>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13pt;"><br /></span>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alan Keyse</span></div>
<a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow" style="line-height: normal;">keysforliving.org</a><br />
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #990000;">email Alan</span></div>
</div>
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<br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-77088330582240709732013-04-03T14:46:00.002-07:002013-09-08T01:34:37.073-07:00THE 'POSITIVE TRUTH' WORKSHOP - Sunday 16 June 2013<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A day long event on Sunday 16 June 2013 (9am-5pm) Taking place at Loudwater Farm, Loudwater Lane, Rickmansworth, Herts WD3 4HG <a href="http://www.loudwaterfarm.co.uk/">http://www.loudwaterfarm.co.uk/</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 16px;">This is a workshop developing the themes of recognising daily & casual negativity; personal gratitude; the power of positivity & 'positive truth'. The workshop culminates in the formation of tangible personal affirmations & inspirational goals. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 16px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 16px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 16px;">We shall also be looking at the value of mindful awareness on our daily lives, mindful movement, & a 'beginners guide' to practical meditation. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 16px;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxN__yo04D334iw2kLwd8NSU_O-j1Mfrpf6BQfL8gm2H-JkIFoh2xen5PBUctiIzjkGGpC_TxHGs9zKCV0HfXRUyJGCQeabjPjft6K1iYknWtey01coeXTGK3etNODn1ljMkgxOYfrhVc/s1600/Horizon.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxN__yo04D334iw2kLwd8NSU_O-j1Mfrpf6BQfL8gm2H-JkIFoh2xen5PBUctiIzjkGGpC_TxHGs9zKCV0HfXRUyJGCQeabjPjft6K1iYknWtey01coeXTGK3etNODn1ljMkgxOYfrhVc/s320/Horizon.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div align="center" class="Body1" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>WORKSHOP TIMETABLE</b><b><o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: green; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><br /></span></b>
<b style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: green; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><br /></span></b>
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<span style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: green; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">09.00 ARRIVAL
& REFRESHMENTS</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: maroon; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">09.20 INTRODUCTION</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Run
through the day</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; text-indent: 15pt;">’</span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">s
schedule</span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> - </span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Introduce
those involved in the day</span><span style="font-size: 11pt; text-indent: 15pt;">’</span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">s
event.</span>Smaller
groups will be organised as we shall be moving between the general gathering
and smaller more personal groups all day.</span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: maroon; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">09.45 POSITIVITY</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 15pt;">What
is meant by positivity</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Negativity:
It</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;">’</span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">s
nature, effects, and identification. Measures to overcome</span></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="margin-left: 43pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: maroon; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">10.30 MINDFULNESS</span><span style="color: maroon; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 15pt;">What
is it?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 15pt;">The
practice of mindful awareness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 15pt;">The
benefits</span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: green; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">11.00 MID
MORNING BREAK</span><span style="color: green; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: maroon; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">11.20 GRATITUDE</span><br />
<u style="text-indent: 36pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Group
Activity:</span></u><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 36pt;">POSITIVE
EVENT from the past week</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 36pt;">The
GRATITUDE LIST</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 15pt;">Group
discussion</span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: maroon; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">12.00 MINDFUL
MOVEMENT</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Halina
Rosentrauch of Yoga Tree <a href="http://www.yogatree.org/">www.yogatree.org</a> will introduce and them conduct a session of </span><span style="font-size: 11pt;">‘</span><span style="font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">mindful
movement.</span></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: green; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">12.45 LUNCH</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt;">Anna
Corless from Anna’s Kitchen </span><span style="background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; color: #009933; font-size: 11pt;"><a href="http://www.annaskitchen.info/">www.annaskitchen.info</a> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 11pt;">will
be providing a fork buffet of two main vegetarian courses, rice, & three
salads plus refreshments – full details will follow</span></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #943634; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">13.50 TIBETAN
BOWLS</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Steve
Carter <a href="http://www.primalsound.co.uk/">www.primalsound.co.uk</a> will be
playing his Tibetan (singing) bowls in session that will offer AMAZING
relaxation. He will take us through their origins & their use, & will
follow with a Q & A session.</span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #943634; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">14.30 AFFIRMATIONS</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What are
they and do they have a value part to play in positivity attitudes and change?</span><br />
<u style="text-indent: 15pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Group
activity:</span></u><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 15pt;">An
affirmation bath (no water involved!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 15pt;">Discussions
within groups</span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: green; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">15.15 AFTERNOON
BREAK</span><span style="color: green; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #943634; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">15.35 POSITIVE
TRUTHS</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 15pt;">Explaining
positive truths</span><br />
<u style="text-indent: 15pt;"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">Group
activity:</span></u><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 15pt;">The
10 positive truths</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 15pt;">Read
aloud (if desired)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 15pt;">Personal
affirmations - the use of personal positive truths as affirmations</span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="margin-left: 57pt; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #943634; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">16.15 YOUR
OWN PERSONAL VISION </span><span style="color: #943634; font-size: 11pt;">–</span><span style="color: #943634; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"> GOAL SETTING</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Positivity
is a marvellous state of mind but it now needs to be harnessed and the best way
to do this is in forming personal goals. This will be done in groups.</span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: green; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";">17.00 FINISH</span><span style="color: green; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">COST & TERMS</span></b><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;">The cost for the
whole day is £68.00 per person which includes all a</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;">ctivities, refreshments</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;">
and lunch.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; text-align: left;"></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A £10 deposit is
payable to reserve a place with the balance payable 15 days prior to the event.
</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Concessions are
available where appropriate for those on pensions, not in full-time employment,
and students – Please do not hesitate to ask.</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<!--EndFragment--></div>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #990000;"><br />
<!--EndFragment-->
Alan Keyse</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/">www.keysforliving.org</a></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://bit.ly/12laUBn">Introductory Video</a></span><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-73106037623748140722013-03-27T03:54:00.000-07:002013-11-17T01:51:25.086-08:00CAN WE TURN AN 'OFF' DAY 'ON'?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="color: #990000;">We are exhorted by personal development professionals, including
me, to have a positive outlook, to remain optimistic, and to eradicate negative
thinking. But let’s face it, these are tough economic times and there can be
days when we struggle a bit, when we feel out of sorts, under pressure, or when
we are just having a low energy day.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia5GRe8yRtOJMsMuvTivRKuQ8OfJ_aNtEEgf19cwWMrBc9ASgadCQ04WioDDGGqZVN5Xb3ZsBzI96bBBnhiht2N-8B4SIkhi_2ekWYGdGIoUZYyl-d7PB4IpGnzFLDD2-HARr3siAiOxE/s1600/HB+042.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEia5GRe8yRtOJMsMuvTivRKuQ8OfJ_aNtEEgf19cwWMrBc9ASgadCQ04WioDDGGqZVN5Xb3ZsBzI96bBBnhiht2N-8B4SIkhi_2ekWYGdGIoUZYyl-d7PB4IpGnzFLDD2-HARr3siAiOxE/s320/HB+042.jpg" width="320" /></a><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">So what can we do? Do we write off 24 hours and put it down to
being ‘just an off day’? We need to bear in mind that the day in question is a
unique, one-off, never to be repeated opportunity. So let’s not simply consign
that gift to the bin hoping that the next one is going to be better. Why not
get on to the front foot (a cricket terms for my American friends) and try to
pull the day around to our way of thinking?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #990000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><i>'If you have a bad day in baseball, and start thinking about it, you will have 10 more'</i></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #990000;">Sammy Sosa</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The easiest way of trying to break into a negative thought process
is breaking the routine. This does not have to mean something that will really
eat hugely into our time, especially if we are at work and things are weighing
us down – it may only need the time it takes to have a coffee break. So instead
of sighing, rocking back on our chair & wallowing in a hot drink:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">a) Book
something nice to do, a walk with friends, origami classes, a restaurant, a play, an art gallery…whatever we like
doing. Do this not because it’s something to look forward to but because we will actually
enjoy booking it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">b) E-mail a
friend who perhaps we do not contact that regularly or ring or text an aged
relative – just because we are having a bad day does not mean that we cannot
make theirs. They’ll be delighted and it <i>will</i>
rub off.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">c) Go out of our
way to be nice to a work colleague – again, someone we do not, ordinarily, have
much contact with. They will respond and so will our mood. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 36.0pt;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">d) We can make
sure we are engaging in positive eye contact with those around us. We’ll have
to concentrate more than usual to do this as we are not going to be in the best
of moods but it <i>will </i>work.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Of course we have the voice in our ear telling us we do not have
the time for any of this. The truth is that if we are having a bad day then we
are going to be far more productive with our enthusiasm back on track – so a
‘time out’ will be time very well spent!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">If all else fails then we can employ a ‘go-to setting’ that can
help us back to a brighter outlook
- even on the darkest days – GRATITUDE. Write a gratitude list: 10
things for which, <u>that day,</u> we are truly grateful. I do not mean
negative gratitude: ‘thank goodness that guy has been moved out of my office!’,
but rather ‘I’m so grateful to have a good space within which to work’. But for
it to work we have to do it <u>like we mean it</u>.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Turning around a tough day may not be easy but it can be done.
Ultimately it’s how we think about things - how we react to events and people -
that decides whether or not we are having a good day. The quality of our day is
governed by what <i>we</i> choose to think
about. On those days when our positive thinking may need a little kick-start,
and we all get them, it’s up to us. We should bear in mind that when negativity
seems to have the upper hand <i>we </i>can
choose to inject some of the good stuff! Positivity is just as infectious so
let’s catch some and make sure others do too!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. </i></span></div>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13pt;"><br /></span>
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</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alan Keyse</span></div>
<a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow" style="line-height: normal;">keysforliving.org</a><br />
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #990000;">email Alan</span></div>
</div>
</div>
<br />
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<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-60902151595831314832013-03-24T15:13:00.000-07:002013-11-17T01:50:29.798-08:00ARE WE EVER REALLY IN CONTOL?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div align="center" class="Body1" style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><br /></span></b>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #262626; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">“The bird of paradise alights only on the hand that does
not grasp”<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="Body1" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">John
Berry</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #990000; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Whether applied in the home or the workplace how often do we
hear the words: ‘I like to be in control’, or ‘I hate it when I'm not in
control’, and even ‘I know I'm a control freak’? The desire to control others, be it for reasons of what we perceive as efficiency or even care & compassion, is a much frequented blind alley where many of us can find ourselves.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #943634; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">THE ILLUSION </span><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We may ‘feel’ in control,
especially when people are doing what we want or what we approve of, but we are
fooling ourselves. The truth is, we are never in control of events, what people
think or what people do - ever. To believe so is to live in an illusion. We
cannot even control what children do and say, why else are they always being
shouted at?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #990000; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">THE DAMAGE</span></i></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To desire 'control' can have lasting damaging effects on ourselves and those around us:</span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">We</span></span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> are hankering after something we can never achieve, therefore we are
wasting valuable mental energy.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The desire
for control has negative overtones and in the pursuit for happiness and harmony
in our lives there is no place for negativity.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Pressurising
(aka bullying) our partners, friends or colleagues should not be mistaken for
control as it never endures. It is simply negative influence, backed by fear, and masquerading as control. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Will bullied employees be more or less productive
than motivated ones? It is a common error to mistake it for strong management.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Will a 'controlling' relationship ultimately work in the truest sense? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body1" style="margin-left: 36.0pt; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -18.0pt;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: major-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-font-family: "Arial Unicode MS";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When we believe ourselves to be in control and things
do not go our way we can easily become disappointed, frustrated & even angry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #990000; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">THE REALITY <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">It would be wrong, however, to
assert there we have control over nothing in our lives. The fact is that there
is one thing over which we have complete control (when we chose to exercise it)
and that is control over what we are thinking. In this our control is complete
& our responsibility absolute: no one can tell us what to think, what ever
they may believe. </span>But it’s ironic that the one
thing in our lives over which can we actually claim full control is so often
neglected either in part or, in some cases, completely abdicated. What we think
governs our decisions and our decisions determine our lives – so the sooner we
claim back control the better.</span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The greater our control of our
thoughts & therefore our actions - the more we exude strength and positive
energy. It is this that gives us <u>influence</u> on events and those around us. The positive
reality of influence as opposed to the negative illusion of control can only
fuel our success at work or at home.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="Body1">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="Body1" style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">"Self-disciplined begins with the mastery of your thoughts. If you
don't control what you think, you can't control what you do."</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> </span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: 13.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div align="center" class="Body1" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Tahoma; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Napolean Hill<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<div style="line-height: normal; margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. </i></span></div>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13pt;"><br /></span>
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</div>
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</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alan Keyse</span></div>
<a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow" style="line-height: normal;">keysforliving.org</a><br />
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #990000;">email Alan</span></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-13567464705149521872013-01-07T01:02:00.004-08:002013-12-04T15:09:25.838-08:00DO YOU REALLY NEED THE PRESSURE OF A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION? <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="color: orange; font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;"><b>Yes, it’s that time again – so who’s thinking of making a New Year’s
resolution?</b></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjwq8F9_Zw_k7zyZBzauh9xX9WPLa8VA2De_veBphjpF5wl28rTIeBeIorgPUDLKOW_Jl7HkrAdoxqS19kZACdm8LOPVwwfL2hhU4NjxTDcq1AwHao-H3KxnvRFnS1t6-fs9gZpva6eg4/s1600/+fireworks-photogen_cef221.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjwq8F9_Zw_k7zyZBzauh9xX9WPLa8VA2De_veBphjpF5wl28rTIeBeIorgPUDLKOW_Jl7HkrAdoxqS19kZACdm8LOPVwwfL2hhU4NjxTDcq1AwHao-H3KxnvRFnS1t6-fs9gZpva6eg4/s1600/+fireworks-photogen_cef221.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjwq8F9_Zw_k7zyZBzauh9xX9WPLa8VA2De_veBphjpF5wl28rTIeBeIorgPUDLKOW_Jl7HkrAdoxqS19kZACdm8LOPVwwfL2hhU4NjxTDcq1AwHao-H3KxnvRFnS1t6-fs9gZpva6eg4/s200/+fireworks-photogen_cef221.jpg" width="133" /></a></div>
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #073763; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"><b><br /></b></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #073763; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"><b>A New Year’s resolution is creating an expectation – and expectations
can make us hostages to disappointment (please see the item from earlier this year <span style="background-color: white;"><a href="http://keysforliving.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-can-we-manage-expectations.html?spref=tw">How Can We Manage Expectations</a>?). </span>Of course, resolutions can be a source of fun
for the New Year, but many of us make them, and we mean business. But do
we really need that kind of pressure? So many of us are setting ourselves up for a fall.</b><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #073763; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">A resolution hangs over us like CCTV with teeth, and it is going to
hurt because the majority of us will not fulfil those contracts so fervently
undertaken at the beginning of January. The main problem is that we often find
ourselves adhering to an agenda set by the marketing/media colossus the sole aim of which is to shame us into investing in something to make us into someone
else, and they are very good at it. </span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #073763; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #073763; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: orange;">So, is there a lasting alternative to the
New Year ‘stick up’? </span><span style="color: #073763; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #073763; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">How about this year making a <b>‘New Day’s Resolution’</b>? I am talking about
a small change, or small changes, every day. No whistles and bells required; no
dramatic gestures; no unrealistic promises to break. Small steps towards a
larger goal that has to be realistic, challenging, and mid term (3-6 months
max).<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #073763; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">To help maintain the small daily resolutions, keep in mind some classic, almost unfashionable, <b>factors that
need to be in place</b>: <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span>
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: orange; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">PATIENCE<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">It’s almost a dirty word nowadays, but harness it’s potential and you can
be unstoppable. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">The ancient Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu is attributed as saying ‘A
journey of a thousand miles begins with one step’. A personal development journey
is no different and begins and continues <b>one step at a time</b>. </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">MOMENTUM<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">Do
not let up. This does not mean setting off like a bull out of a gate – it is about setting <b>your own pace</b> for change & then not stopping for anything or
anyone. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: orange; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">ACCEPTANCE<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #073763; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">A vital element in building a non-judgmental today is learning to
accept that what has happened up to this moment has already happened: it's gone and there is nothing we can do about yesterday. Anything
other than acceptance is futile and a distraction. The crucial thing is that<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><b>what happens next is entirely up to you</b>. That is, no guilt or personal recrimination for the current situation,
just acceptance and, at the same instance, the realisation that life change can begin this instant.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: orange; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">PLAN IT<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #073763;"><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Real lasting
change, and that’s what we’re talking about with a resolution, it a serious
business – so it needs to be planned. Once planned, it needs to be backed up a
<b>commitment to see it through</b>.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"> <span lang="EN-US"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #073763;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">The decision to make a real lasting change in your life is the first very important
step. Understanding that real and lasting development can begin right now, one
step at a time - measured, gradual, but at the same time focused and relentless
– this season it is a great gift we can give ourselves.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<b><span style="color: orange;"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: large;">All it takes is one step ....... so, fancy going for a walk?</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></b><br />
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. </i></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Alan Keyse</span></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow" style="line-height: normal;"><span style="color: #073763; font-size: x-small;">keysforliving.org</span></a></div>
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="mailto:info@keysforliving.org" rel="nofollow"><span style="color: #073763; font-size: x-small;">email Alan</span></a></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4927655876222603815.post-47504804902359421892013-01-03T10:19:00.001-08:002013-11-17T01:49:50.549-08:00ENHANCING SELF BELIEF<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=4927655876222603815" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue'; font-size: 11pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">Belief is the key to my work as a coach whether I am working with
someone regarding their home life or their business.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="clear: left; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Woman running Stock Photo - 7208477" border="0" class="compImg" height="200" src="http://us.123rf.com/400wm/400/400/designpics/designpics1006/designpics100601540/7208477-woman-running.jpg" style="max-height: 400px; max-width: 400px;" title="Woman running Stock Photo" width="136" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px;"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px;">The belief to
which I refer is not that associated with faith (an area that receives my full
respect but is not what I intend to discuss here), but instead is concerned with
belief as it applies to facts, to reality & to objective judgment. So let
me highlight what it is we need to believe in order to take control of our
lives:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">BELIEF IN THE
POWER OF POSITIVITY…<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We can all agree
that allowing negative thoughts and actions to preoccupy us contributes nothing
towards positive change in our lives. If, on the other hand, we recognise the positivity
that already exists for us, there will be a change in our thinking & that
can only have a beneficial effect.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">BELIEF IN OUR
POTENTIAL…</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #262626;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">We need to
recognise, acknowledge & connect with our strengths - we all have them -
the stuff we are good at. At this point, if we can hear a voice saying ‘I’m no
good at anything’ then that is a clue that we’re allowing negativity to run the
show – & with predictable results. The truth is that by the time we reach
maturity we already possess everything we need to achieve our own fulfilment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">BELIEF IN OUR
CIRCLE…<o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #262626; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Lets make sure
that we are surrounded by people who are truly in our corner, and who bring
positive energy with them. The power of intention - our will to make things
happen - is a matter of fact and it works so much better the more of us there
are all wanting the same thing. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;"><i>BELIEF THAT IT’S
OUR DECISION…</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #262626;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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we are totally responsible for our own thoughts and behaviour and, importantly,
our reactions to actions and events. It’s our choice to turn off the autopilot
& once we take ownership of what happens next it gives us much more clarity
as to the choices we have to make.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This all leads to one thing: <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #990000;">BELIEF IN OURSELVES….</span></i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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formulate our plans but the engine room is to be found in believing in
ourselves. Once we back our abilities, once we create an
environment where our strengths can be enhanced by drive and optimism, there’s
nothing that can stand in our way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #250000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-size: 16.0pt; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">"If we all did the
things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves". </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US" style="color: #250000; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt;">Thomas
Alva Edison</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: Calibri; font-size: 11pt; font-weight: bold;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. </i></span></div>
<span style="color: #073763; font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 13pt;"><br /></span>
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alan Keyse</span></div>
<a href="http://www.keysforliving.org/" rel="nofollow" style="line-height: normal;">keysforliving.org</a><br />
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<span style="color: #990000;">email Alan</span></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01999722533404949027noreply@blogger.com0