SELF AWARENESS (Part 3) - Our emotions and our behaviour

In the final part of this extended blog we will see how our emotions effect our behaviour and then go on to look at our strengths and limitations.

EMOTIONS AND OUR BEHAVIOUR

If our moods can determine our thinking it then follows that this process will also be reflected in our behaviour. But making that connection from emotion right through to what we do is not always obvious.

• We do have to take full responsibility for our actions, so why leave it to chance? Our emotions can cause a chain reaction for which we are either unwilling or unprepared. 
• The more we understand and are aware of the nature of the 'behavioural supply chain’, the more we will realise just how much control we can have - and in this life, real control is a very rare commodity.

OUR EMOTIONAL STRENGTHS AND LIMITATIONS

Knowing our strengths is, of course, important but understanding our limitations can be just as potent an asset. In fact, failure to appreciate that we have limitations can be a weakness and may even prove to be a serious flaw.

• If we understand our limitations as well as our strengths we are less likely to stumble unprepared into a challenge.
• Profound knowledge of our capacities leaves us better placed to exploit our talents to the full and give ourselves every opportunity to succeed. 
• We give ourselves every chance to play to our strengths, and after all, why would we want to do anything else?

The idea is not to prevent the flow of our emotions, but to manage them together with our moods, and to regulate the effect they have on our thinking. It is not the intention to breed Vulcans. A common question is 'how can I be doing all these things if I am to concentrate on my work?' The point is that, like any other skill, the more we practice, the more it becomes second nature.

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org

email Alan

SELF AWARENESS (Part 2) - Our emotions and our thinking

Following on from Part 1 when we looked at the physical effects our emotions can have on us, we shall now see ways in which our moods can profoundly influence our thinking. 

EMOTIONS AND OUR THINKING

Quite simply, negative emotions cause negative thinking and the fact that what we think determines what we do and therefore how we live our life, this is of crucial importance to us. 

• Our mental energy is one of our most valuable resources, but how much of it has to be diverted to dealing with feelings of frustration, irritation, anger or even fear and anxiety? Surely our mental energy would be better expended managing the direction of a meeting or delivering a presentation?
• Negative emotions almost always move us into negative thinking, and if that those thoughts become personal in nature, perhaps there is a danger that we can fall into the trap of losing focus and 'playing the man and not the ball'? How often have you been in a meeting and see personal frictions influencing a discussion? We can become distracted from the aims of a task because our thinking has been led on walkabout by our emotions.
• Constant awareness of the relationship between our emotions and moods on the one hand, and our thinking on the other, ensures that we can retain far greater control of what happens next.

In Part 3 of this blog we shall be looking at the effects our emotions can have on the 'behaviour supply chain' at the point of delivery: our behaviour.

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org
email Alan

SELF AWARENESS (Part 1) - Emotions & our physical state

Whether we know it or not, we all possess Emotional Intelligence to a greater or lesser extent, and in the first of three blogs on the subject we shall take a look at the fundamental role of self awareness in developing our EI.

Our ability to be aware of and to manage our emotions on a consistent basis, and then to apply our EI to other people and even groups, is not easy. The good news is that it is a skill that we can learn, enhance, and ultimately command. It all begins with self awareness, and in mastering the 'self' we can gain control of what could be called the 'behaviour supply chain'

SELF AWARENESS

The main step towards this is to develop much higher levels of awareness of our moods and emotions, as they occur, moment by moment. Abandon all thoughts of navel gazing - this refers to a very practical approach to understanding and then managing our “behavioural supply chain”, from inception to delivery! Our emotions, particularly when negative, can provoke both thought patterns and reactions that can adversely affect decision making, quality of management, and leadership.

In order to attain such control, we need an intimate awareness of our emotions and the knock on effect they can have on our lives. In that way we can become used to intervening with negative emotions as soon as we are aware of them and we can learn to do this by understanding how our emotions affect three main areas:

1. EMOTIONS AND OUR PHYSICAL STATE

Although our emotions can have serious effects on our thought process, quite often the first thing we know about it is through physical sensations. This is particularly the case, for example, during stressful meetings. Many of us will have experience some of the following physical sensations either before or during a challenging meeting:

• Neck stiffening
• Shoulders tensing 
• Tight throat 
• Pressure on the chest
• Feeling a block in the stomach 
• Throttling your pen!
• Feeling hot 

Although we may know when we are feeling stressed. we may not fully understand the causes. Furthermore, if we recognise we are experiencing these types of physical sensations, our state of mind may not be lost on others in the meeting. If, however, we are sensitive to the meaning of physical manifestations, they can become useful 'trip wires' for making us pay close attention to our thinking and to taking measures to counter those sensations.

In Part 2 we shall look at the effects our emotions can have on our thinking.


Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org
email Alan