CONFLICT AT WORK: CAN YOU SEE IT COMING? (Part 2)

THE NOBLEST PLEASURE IS THE JOY OF UNDERSTANDING 

Leonardo da Vinci

Once conflict gets its feet under the table it can take on a life of it’s own and become increasingly self-perpetuating over time. Anything negative about another person can be amplified and used to justify an opposing stance and positivity and optimism stand little chance when arguing. In addition, flexibility and compromise become stifled as they are seen as weakness and likely to undermine an argument.

In the midst of such tension what can be done in order to break the cycle of negativity, provide mediation and offer resolution? How can an environment for balanced reason, where compromise can be developed, be established? Ultimately this is an issue of leadership as the effectiveness of staff, and the performance of the company are at stake – so the impetus has to be provided from the top down.

DOES THE COMPANY CLEARLY SET OUT ITS CORE VALUES?

Core values come from the top and go to the heart of what makes the corporate body tick. All employees therefore, from the boardroom down, need to have these values ingrained into their personal work culture – and this includes the absolute need for an esprit de corps running through the whole company. The senior executives in particular need to live and breathe these values so setting the standard for behaviour. Once this beacon is lit no individual or group within the company can be left in any doubt as to what is expected.

MEDIATION

If management chooses to mediate (be it directly or by bringing in outside support) it can send out a very clear and positive message. Trying to impose a resolution is no solution at all but merely suppression. In mediation the parties concerned are involved in a dialogue, at first either individually or together, regarding the creation of an environment for understanding. The discussion will outline the shared benefits of harmony for the company and for their individual happiness and fulfilment at work. The parties have to ask themselves, which is more important, victory or resolution? Once it is agreed that ‘victory’ is not only unattainable but also damaging, and that continued strife is unacceptable, how do they wish to participate in what happens next?

MUTUAL OWNERSHIP OF THE PROBLEM

Have the parties talk about how the situation makes them feel and how they react to those emotions? Looking at themselves, what could each one do to improve their attitude in the circumstances be it their actions or their reactions? At the appropriate time have both parties explain their point of view to one another including how the situation and the actions of the other person makes them feel. Have them set out how a better environment would benefit them personally, the colleague in question, and for the business that employs them both.

Mediating a resolution to a conflict is about understanding from all sides: what we do; how we react; and the effects of our actions, whether or not we regard ourselves as the victim. Mediation is about understanding our real needs, those of our colleagues and of the company as a whole. It is about abandoning the trenches and stepping into the middle ground where issues can be observed, discussed and where understanding can go to work.

Alan Keyse specialises in coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, managers and their staff – in groups or on a 1 to 1 basis. He also speaks and holds workshops encouraging the use of mindfulness principles in business.

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TO DO LISTS: REMEMBER WHO'S IN CHARGE (Part 2)

In Part One  of this blog I discussed the problems that can be posed by attitudes to ‘To Do lists’, especially in the workplace, when people find themselves labouring under the burden of excessive stress. We looked at the possible adverse reactions and counter productive effects that the spectre of increasingly overloaded ‘To Do lists’ can have.

In this second part I wish to offer some thoughts intended to break the cycle of negative thinking surrounding 'To Do' lists, and help to overcome the inertia caused when the effects of stress begin to dominate the working day.

MAKE ‘EM MANAGABLE

If faced with a list of, say, 30+ items people can become overwhelmed before they even get going. If items on a list cannot be done this morning, or today, reduce the list to things that can so creating a 'Day List'. Its much better to focus on a five or ten point list that is getting done rather than a huge raft of things that are not. This may seem like a small ‘mind game’ but it works. If we concentrate on what we are achieving as opposed to what is yet to be achieved, it can have a significant effect.

MAKE EACH ITEM REALISTIC

Make sure the list is made up of items and not concepts. The items have to be 'do-able' and not open ended. There is no point including 'Return all my calls' if it's never going to happen. To avoid having items lingering on the list from one day to another, break it down by, the case of telephone calls, itemising exactly who is going to be called. If an item is unrealistic or unlikely to get done then it does not go on the list.

TAKE ONE AT A TIME

Too obvious? ‘To Do lists’ can be so intimidating for some people that an emphasis on being single minded about tackling the items one at a time is essential. Multi-tasking, a buzz phrase of the age, is all well and good, but if we need to break the cycle of negative thoughts that cause inertia, dealing systematically with each task in hand is a great way of breaking the psychological log jam.

CAN SOMEONE ELSE DO THAT ONE?

Delegation is too large a topic to include in any detail here but in a larger organisation it’s vital to employ this essential management skill.

IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE RIGHT…

This is closely linked to successful delegation, so let’s be sure what ‘done right’ means. Does it mean, done the way I like/want it? Would someone else’s way be just as good? We have to be able to work around different work techniques so becoming more flexible and therefore more effective managers. Often someone else’s way may well get the job done – we may have to accept that our way is only a right way, and not necessarily the right way.

PRIORITISE, PRIORITISE, PRIORITISE

Think carefully about what needs to be done in order of precedence. Forget the ‘but I need to do it all’ thing. That’s not been happening so why should today be any different? So prioritise, and push off the day list that which does not need doing immediately.

These suggestions are not meant as a blueprint to fundamentally change working practice but rather to help kick start a different mind-set. Although an alternative perspective is what may be required, it still has to come from within each individual in a way that best suits them if the battle against stress is to be effective over time. One such perspective is to take back control over how we tackle our working day, and if in order to do so we need to get back to basics, then so be it. 

Related article:  TO DO LISTS: REMEMBER WHO'S IN CHARGE (Part 1)

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org

email Alan