THE STRENGTH IN PATIENCE

Is patience still a virtue? A glance at one day in a life of our digital age and one would say not.  We are given to believe that everything we should ever want or need is one click away. When the instant age lets us down or we have to wait or queue for something we expected to be immediate, our disappointment becomes a fertile ground for negative emotions: at the petrol station; in the supermarket; checking in; checking out; waiting for a free table; running through a large corporation's labyrinthine telephone menu (my particular favourite).

Patience is often regarded as 'off the pace' - a waste of time when we should be out there making things happen. The sort of patience I refer to, however, comes hand in glove with persistence and no small amount of willpower. It does not mean inaction or watching and waiting but, instead, gradual and relentless action: it does not lose it’s focus; it will not stop for setbacks; it will not allow itself to be distracted by, so called, easy solutions.

We can manage our own evolution by taking one small but positive step every day: going for a walk; making a point of smiling at shop assistants and bank workers; avoiding using bad language; having a little quiet quality time with loved ones free of TVs and computers; the list is endless. To achieve our goals it’s not a prerequisite to take giant leaps, or to turn lives upside down. Change can be gradual: it evolves, and as such is more natural and, most importantly, it will stick!

If we practice thinking in new ways often enough, we can alter our lives - quick fixes and short term enthusiasm can only lead to short lived benefits, disappointment & regression. Evolution is the key to real behaviour change and such a process replicates how we take on bad habits. So in the same way positive changes can ‘take’ and become our new habits. What took decades to condition our lives cannot be put right in weeks but real beginning can be made - in bite size pieces....buon appetito!

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STEPPING BACK FROM THE CHAOS - TIME WELL SPENT

I was fascinated to read among one of the online news feeds, that on a beach in Marbella a celebrity had unveiled her ‘new body’ as though she were the latest design from BMW. Doesn't the media realise that it is the same body she’s had all along? Of course it does, but where’s the interest in that? 

Neither is the media interested in the fact that there will be thousands of young women who, on reading such items and seeing the images, will yearn for their own ‘new body’. Furthermore there are many who will either damage themselves in order to get one, or will abandon any hope of ever being able to achieve what is touted as perfection, and abandon any care for themselves all together. 

We live in an age where our self identity and self esteem are under constant assault from a torrent of images and messages be it print media, TV, films, advertising, the Web etc. They are all preoccupied with trying to channel us to the conclusion that we are deficient in some way or other (the good news being, of course, that there is a product out there we can buy that can help). We cannot expect the media to suddenly acknowledge that any connection exists between power and responsibility, nor should we hold our breath waiting for leaders in government and industry to point it out to them. We are on our own and as such need to take responsibility for our actions and reactions.

It has never been more important for us to disengage periodically from the heaving fairground that has become modern existence and to reconnect with our core values, with a sense of our value as human beings, and with ourselves. If we take time each day, even just five minutes, to sit quietly and in solitude, and be aware of our simple needs, our fundamental desires, and our innate worth, it will go a long way to help keep our minds calm amongst the chaos. It also implants a powerful message within ourselves that we can be in control of our thinking even during our busiest days. 

Like anything else, the more we do it, the more benefit we will feel. It’s only a small step, but isn’t that how all journeys begin?

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org

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