THE 'POSITIVE TRUTH' WORKSHOP - Sunday 16 June 2013

A day long event on Sunday 16 June 2013 (9am-5pm) Taking place at Loudwater Farm, Loudwater Lane, Rickmansworth, Herts WD3 4HG http://www.loudwaterfarm.co.uk/


This is a workshop developing the themes of recognising daily & casual negativity; personal gratitude; the power of positivity & 'positive truth'. The workshop culminates in the formation of tangible personal affirmations & inspirational goals. 

We shall also be looking at the value of mindful awareness on our daily lives, mindful movement, & a 'beginners guide' to practical meditation. 

WORKSHOP TIMETABLE

09.00             ARRIVAL & REFRESHMENTS

09.20             INTRODUCTION
Run through the day’s schedule - Introduce those involved in the day’s event.Smaller groups will be organised as we shall be moving between the general gathering and smaller more personal groups all day.

09.45             POSITIVITY
What is meant by positivity
Negativity: It’s nature, effects, and identification. Measures to overcome

10.30             MINDFULNESS 
What is it?
The practice of mindful awareness.
The benefits

11.00            MID MORNING BREAK

11.20            GRATITUDE
Group Activity:
POSITIVE EVENT from the past week
The GRATITUDE LIST
Group discussion

12.00             MINDFUL MOVEMENT
Halina Rosentrauch  of Yoga Tree www.yogatree.org  will introduce and them conduct a session of ‘mindful movement.

12.45              LUNCH
Anna Corless from Anna’s Kitchen www.annaskitchen.info will be providing a fork buffet of two main vegetarian courses, rice, & three salads plus refreshments – full details will follow

13.50             TIBETAN BOWLS
Steve Carter www.primalsound.co.uk will be playing his Tibetan (singing) bowls in session that will offer AMAZING relaxation. He will take us through their origins & their use, & will follow with a Q & A session.

  

14.30             AFFIRMATIONS
What are they and do they have a value part to play in positivity attitudes and change?
Group activity:
An affirmation bath (no water involved!)
Discussions within groups

15.15             AFTERNOON BREAK

15.35             POSITIVE TRUTHS
Explaining positive truths
Group activity:
The 10 positive truths
Read aloud (if desired)
Personal affirmations - the use of personal positive truths as affirmations

16.15            YOUR OWN PERSONAL VISION – GOAL SETTING
Positivity is a marvellous state of mind but it now needs to be harnessed and the best way to do this is in forming personal goals. This will be done in groups.

17.00             FINISH

COST & TERMS

The cost for the whole day is £68.00 per person which includes all activities, refreshments and lunch.

A £10 deposit is payable to reserve a place with the balance payable 15 days prior to the event.

Concessions are available where appropriate for those on pensions, not in full-time employment, and students – Please do not hesitate to ask.

Alan Keyse
www.keysforliving.org
Introductory Video

CAN WE TURN AN 'OFF' DAY 'ON'?

We are exhorted by personal development professionals, including me, to have a positive outlook, to remain optimistic, and to eradicate negative thinking. But let’s face it, these are tough economic times and there can be days when we struggle a bit, when we feel out of sorts, under pressure, or when we are just having a low energy day.

So what can we do? Do we write off 24 hours and put it down to being ‘just an off day’? We need to bear in mind that the day in question is a unique, one-off, never to be repeated opportunity. So let’s not simply consign that gift to the bin hoping that the next one is going to be better. Why not get on to the front foot (a cricket terms for my American friends) and try to pull the day around to our way of thinking?

'If you have a bad day in baseball, and start thinking about it, you will have 10 more'

Sammy Sosa

The easiest way of trying to break into a negative thought process is breaking the routine. This does not have to mean something that will really eat hugely into our time, especially if we are at work and things are weighing us down – it may only need the time it takes to have a coffee break. So instead of sighing, rocking back on our chair & wallowing in a hot drink:

a) Book something nice to do, a walk with friends, origami classes, a restaurant, a play, an art gallery…whatever we like doing. Do this not because it’s something to look forward to but because we will actually enjoy booking it.

b) E-mail a friend who perhaps we do not contact that regularly or ring or text an aged relative – just because we are having a bad day does not mean that we cannot make theirs. They’ll be delighted and it will rub off.

c) Go out of our way to be nice to a work colleague – again, someone we do not, ordinarily, have much contact with. They will respond and so will our mood.

d) We can make sure we are engaging in positive eye contact with those around us. We’ll have to concentrate more than usual to do this as we are not going to be in the best of moods but it will work.

Of course we have the voice in our ear telling us we do not have the time for any of this. The truth is that if we are having a bad day then we are going to be far more productive with our enthusiasm back on track – so a ‘time out’ will be time very well spent!

If all else fails then we can employ a ‘go-to setting’ that can help us back to a brighter outlook  - even on the darkest days – GRATITUDE. Write a gratitude list: 10 things for which, that day, we are truly grateful. I do not mean negative gratitude: ‘thank goodness that guy has been moved out of my office!’, but rather ‘I’m so grateful to have a good space within which to work’. But for it to work we have to do it like we mean it.

Turning around a tough day may not be easy but it can be done. Ultimately it’s how we think about things - how we react to events and people - that decides whether or not we are having a good day. The quality of our day is governed by what we choose to think about. On those days when our positive thinking may need a little kick-start, and we all get them, it’s up to us. We should bear in mind that when negativity seems to have the upper hand we can choose to inject some of the good stuff! Positivity is just as infectious so let’s catch some and make sure others do too!

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org

email Alan

ARE WE EVER REALLY IN CONTOL?

“The bird of paradise alights only on the hand that does not grasp”

John Berry

Whether applied in the home or the workplace how often do we hear the words: ‘I like to be in control’, or ‘I hate it when I'm not in control’, and even ‘I know I'm a control freak’? The desire to control others, be it for reasons of what we perceive as efficiency or even care & compassion, is a much frequented blind alley where many of us can find ourselves.

THE ILLUSION

We may ‘feel’ in control, especially when people are doing what we want or what we approve of, but we are fooling ourselves. The truth is, we are never in control of events, what people think or what people do - ever. To believe so is to live in an illusion. We cannot even control what children do and say, why else are they always being shouted at?

THE DAMAGE

To desire 'control' can have lasting damaging effects on ourselves and those around us:

1.     We are hankering after something we can never achieve, therefore we are wasting valuable mental energy.

2.     The desire for control has negative overtones and in the pursuit for happiness and harmony in our lives there is no place for negativity.

3.     Pressurising (aka bullying) our partners, friends or colleagues should not be mistaken for control as it never endures. It is simply negative influence, backed by fear, and masquerading as control.

4.     Will bullied employees be more or less productive than motivated ones? It is a common error to mistake it for strong management. 

5.     Will a 'controlling' relationship ultimately work in the truest sense?

6.     When we believe ourselves to be in control and things do not go our way we can easily become disappointed, frustrated & even angry. 

THE REALITY

It would be wrong, however, to assert there we have control over nothing in our lives. The fact is that there is one thing over which we have complete control (when we chose to exercise it) and that is control over what we are thinking. In this our control is complete & our responsibility absolute: no one can tell us what to think, what ever they may believe. But it’s ironic that the one thing in our lives over which can we actually claim full control is so often neglected either in part or, in some cases, completely abdicated. What we think governs our decisions and our decisions determine our lives – so the sooner we claim back control the better.

The greater our control of our thoughts & therefore our actions - the more we exude strength and positive energy. It is this that gives us influence on events and those around us. The positive reality of influence as opposed to the negative illusion of control can only fuel our success at work or at home.

"Self-disciplined begins with the mastery of your thoughts. If you don't control what you think, you can't control what you do."

Napolean Hill

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org

email Alan

DO YOU REALLY NEED THE PRESSURE OF A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION?

Yes, it’s that time again – so who’s thinking of making a New Year’s resolution?

A New Year’s resolution is creating an expectation – and expectations can make us hostages to disappointment (please see the item from earlier this year How Can We Manage Expectations?). Of course, resolutions can be a source of fun for the New Year, but many of us make them, and we mean business. But do we really need that kind of pressure? So many of us are setting ourselves up for a fall.

A resolution hangs over us like CCTV with teeth, and it is going to hurt because the majority of us will not fulfil those contracts so fervently undertaken at the beginning of January. The main problem is that we often find ourselves adhering to an agenda set by the marketing/media colossus the sole aim of which is to shame us into investing in something to make us into someone else, and they are very good at it. 


So, is there a lasting alternative to the New Year ‘stick up’?

How about this year making a ‘New Day’s Resolution’? I am talking about a small change, or small changes, every day. No whistles and bells required; no dramatic gestures; no unrealistic promises to break. Small steps towards a larger goal that has to be realistic, challenging, and mid term (3-6 months max).

To help maintain the small daily resolutions, keep in mind some classic, almost unfashionable, factors that need to be in place:

PATIENCE
It’s almost a dirty word nowadays, but harness it’s potential and you can be unstoppable. The ancient Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu is attributed as saying ‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step’. A personal development journey is no different and begins and continues one step at a time. 

MOMENTUM
Do not let up. This does not mean setting off like a bull out of a gate – it is about setting your own pace for change & then not stopping for anything or anyone.

ACCEPTANCE
A vital element in building a non-judgmental today is learning to accept that what has happened up to this moment has already happened: it's gone and there is nothing we can do about yesterday. Anything other than acceptance is futile and a distraction. The crucial thing is that what happens next is entirely up to you. That is, no guilt or personal recrimination for the current situation, just acceptance and, at the same instance, the realisation that life change can begin this instant.

PLAN IT

Real lasting change, and that’s what we’re talking about with a resolution, it a serious business – so it needs to be planned. Once planned, it needs to be backed up a commitment to see it through.

The decision to make a real lasting change in your life is the first very important step. Understanding that real and lasting development can begin right now, one step at a time - measured, gradual, but at the same time focused and relentless – this season it is a great gift we can give ourselves.

All it takes is one step ....... so, fancy going for a walk?

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org

email Alan

ENHANCING SELF BELIEF

Belief is the key to my work as a coach whether I am working with someone regarding their home life or their business.



The belief to which I refer is not that associated with faith (an area that receives my full respect but is not what I intend to discuss here), but instead is concerned with belief as it applies to facts, to reality & to objective judgment. So let me highlight what it is we need to believe in order to take control of our lives:

BELIEF IN THE POWER OF POSITIVITY…

We can all agree that allowing negative thoughts and actions to preoccupy us contributes nothing towards positive change in our lives. If, on the other hand, we recognise the positivity that already exists for us, there will be a change in our thinking & that can only have a beneficial effect.

BELIEF IN OUR POTENTIAL…

We need to recognise, acknowledge & connect with our strengths - we all have them - the stuff we are good at. At this point, if we can hear a voice saying ‘I’m no good at anything’ then that is a clue that we’re allowing negativity to run the show – & with predictable results. The truth is that by the time we reach maturity we already possess everything we need to achieve our own fulfilment.

BELIEF IN OUR CIRCLE…

Lets make sure that we are surrounded by people who are truly in our corner, and who bring positive energy with them. The power of intention - our will to make things happen - is a matter of fact and it works so much better the more of us there are all wanting the same thing.

BELIEF THAT IT’S OUR DECISION…

Of course, we are not in control of what others think and do but we are totally responsible for our own thoughts and behaviour and, importantly, our reactions to actions and events. It’s our choice to turn off the autopilot & once we take ownership of what happens next it gives us much more clarity as to the choices we have to make.

This all leads to one thing: BELIEF IN OURSELVES….

This is what it all boils down to. We can set our goals and formulate our plans but the engine room is to be found in believing in ourselves. Once we back our abilities, once we create an environment where our strengths can be enhanced by drive and optimism, there’s nothing that can stand in our way.

"If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves".  

Thomas Alva Edison

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org

email Alan

QUOTATIONS ARE A SOURCE OF INSPIRATION IN MY WORK & MY LIFE

I tend to use quotations in my work, particularly during speaking engagements. They give me tremendous inspiration and focus throughout my working week. Here is a selection quotes, many of them well known to all: 

This is central to all of my work, and indeed my life: 
'A man is but the product of his thoughts, what he thinks, he becomes.' 
Mahatma Gandhi



In personal development it is not the aim to add anything, rather, the challenge is in removing the layers of social conditioning laid down throughout our lives.

'People do not change, they are merely revealed.'
Anne Enright (Irish author)

Lasting change must come from within. We have to take ownership of the changes we make otherwise they will not stick:

'Make sure what you do is a product of your own conclusion.' 
Jim Rohn 

There's no better template for successful coaching:

'Human behaviour flows from three main sources: desire, emotion & knowledge.' 
Plato

Wonderful words from one of the writers who have inspired modern mindfulness:
'If one advances confidently in the direction of their dreams, & endeavours to live the life they have imagined, they will meet with a success unexpected.'
Henry David Thoreau

And there is nothing that will fritter away our time like wishful thinking:

'The goal is everything. If we do not have a target, how do we know what to aim at?


A goal without a plan is just a wish.'
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

A client of mine recently mentioned that she could only make changes in baby steps. It's not the pace that's important, rather, maintaining forward momentum is the real key. The pace of change must always suit each individual.



'A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.'
Lao Tzu


Living acording to our individual core values is vital if we are to achieve true fulfilment and the happiness that comes with it.
:

'Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values.' 
Ayn Rand, Writer


Our creative capacity, which is within us all in our own individual form, helps to define our humanity:

'Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.'
Ida Scott Taylor


To rid ourselves of negative judgment is a tremendous step towards positivity

:

'Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and right doing there is a field. I will meet you there.' 
Rumi

These following two quotes inspire with their beauty, strength & compassion:

'The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.'
Helen Keller

'I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.'
Martin Luther King

The final two are my favourites. Simple logic combined with gentle &, yet at the same time, relentless determination
'If I am not for myself, then who will be for me? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?' 
Hillel

'First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win.' Mahatma Gandhi

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org

email Alan

CORE VALUES - YOUR ROAD MAP TO PERSONAL FULFILMENT

We so often disregard or ignore our core values, that is, if we are aware of them at all. Yet the fact remains that they lie at the heart of whether or not we can ever feel happy and fulfilled in our lives.

These values are the essence of us – in the most profound sense they are what make us tick. That is why, when reflecting on our values we need to take time and think very carefully because they provide us with the compass to our happiness in business, our families, our recreation – in every aspect of our lives.

It's not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are

Roy Disney (1893 - 1971)

Simply stated, if what we think, how we behave and the choices we make, are not compatible with our core vales, we cannot be happy – it’s just not possible. The alternative is we will make do and live in a state of perpetual compromise. Within us, however, there will be a dissonance and an emotonal fault line that will trace a path between the way we live on one side and our natural and harmonious state on the other.

Of course, in this life, we have to make compromises but there is a direct correlation between how well our lives fit with our core values and how happy and fulfilled we feel. The same is true in the workplace. Our core values and those of our employer must also be compatible. It is in the interest of business owners to ensure that the values of the business and those of their employees can dovetail, to a greater or lesser extent because if they do not there will be a high instance of staff turnover, absenteeism & disaffection.

So often in these tough economic times people have to accept jobs when they can find them with the consequent strain that this can put on every aspect of their lives. This does not mean, however, that we should not at least plan and begin to work towards changing our lives to a point where we can feel the fulfilment and happiness we deserve. If we take the time to acquaint ourselves with our core values we will at least be able to understand the direction our heart and soul wishes us to travel - we will comprehend fully who we really are beneath the decades of social conditioning - and make a reality the person we were always destined to become.

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org

email Alan