CAN MANAGERS DITCH FEAR & GROW RESPECT?

In my last blog IS FEAR EVER A USEFUL SUBSTITUTE FOR RESPECT  I wrote about the damage that can be caused within organisations when fear is used as a management tool, and that unless there is radical and determined lead from the executive, attempts to combat the problem will be futile.

If, however, there are instances of individual managers using fear and intimidation to get what is mistakenly referred to as ‘the best’ out of their people, the situation can possibly be remedied by means other than simply firing the head of that department: a manager who is successfully ‘turned’ can be a powerful asset.

NOT DWELLING ON THE ‘WHY’
Management by intimidation, rather than being a demonstration of personal strength is, in fact, the complete opposite. More often than not it is often a sign of deeper, inner flaws generally dwelling among ones personal learnt behaviour and social conditioning. However, looking for the ‘why’ is for another discussion; here we are interested in finding the best way of transforming an unhappy and low performance environment into a team that is engaged, motivated and with a spring in its step.
 
FEAR MISUNDERSTOOD
Very often weak managers do not even know they are doing anything wrong claiming that it’s necessary to ‘crack the whip’, ‘bang a few heads together’, ‘kick ass’, ‘they may not like me but this isn’t popularity contest’ – do any of these sound familiar? Such managers fail to understand that:

-       Leading and managing through respect is not easy, if it were, then everyone would be able to do it.

-       People do not actually fear you – they fear how your temporary authority within an organisation can impact upon them.

-       If a bad manager is replaced then, like a shamed bully, fear of that person evaporates. Such managers fool themselves if they believe they are ‘strong’

TOP 'DOS' OF GOOD MANAGERS
In a healthy corporate environment, managers employing fear as part of their ‘skill set’ are very easy to spot and there are long lists of dos and don’ts to assist in spotting weak managers. Below are just a few measures needed to grow respect and kick fear into row ‘Z’. Also included is a 'trip wire', a ‘tell’, to look out for either in managers, or even in ourselves.

PRIORITISE
Trip wire: being caught up in the minutiae. The desire to micro-manage is not a substitute for the real thing – and feeling busy does not necessarily equate to productivity. Let your team see you managing your own role and that will help them to define their own.

BUILD A STRONG TEAM
Trip wire: feeling threatened by high performing subordinates. Have the confidence to encourage and help talent – it reflects well on the team and manager alike. If a strong candidate is destined for higher things then let them grow – this kind of strength of purpose will be very attractive to subordinates.

TRUST YOUR TEAM
Trip wire: if you think or utter ‘if you want something doing right, do it yourself’, stop in your tracks. Trust your people to do the job well and if they cannot then train them! If they’re treated like adults they WILL respond – trust them, and they will trust you back.

A ‘BLAME FREE’ ZONE
Trip wire: When problems occur and the first reaction is ‘who’s at fault?’. In this case blame is on the agenda and it has to go! The response needs to be: understand what happened, get it put right & ensure everyone learns the lesson. A team afraid of making mistakes will lose all imagination and creativity.

FEEDBACK
Trip wire: sensitivity to positive criticism. A ‘feedback culture’ in a team breeds trust. Train your people in its appropriate use and it becomes a real plus for management and environment building.

STRUCTURE THE WORKING DAY  
Trip wire: complaining about being busy. Is it busy or hectic? The former makes money, the latter loses it. The last person out of the office is not necessarily the most productive – in fact that twighlight competition as well as unproductive, can just look silly.

TRAINING, TRAINING, TRAINING No trip wire required here. All of the greatest & most successful teams and organizations have this tenet at their heart, so surely there must be something in it. This is one of management’s greatest responsibilities towards boardroom and staff alike – to make sure that the company’s most precious resource is in the best possible condition to deliver. If the staff are not being trained then they are losing edge, and in the 21^st Century business environment, that edge (or lack of it) can be enough to decide the issue.  

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching, helping business leaders, executives, managers and their staff to create a healthy, stress free environment so boosting their bottom line.

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.co.uk

email Alan

IS FEAR EVER A USEFUL SUBSTITUTE FOR RESPECT?

Following on from a recent blog about the benefits of acknowledging weakness , a blind alley that individuals, managers and organisations need to be aware of is when fear is confused for respect. 

Actually, such confusion should never arise as they are so completely different, but alas it is all too common. Fear, if unchecked, can create and spread a sense of malaise within a corporate body that can, at best, impede growth and at worst will wreak havoc within the entire structure of an organisation. Pretty soon, management and staff can find themselves operating in the blind: a culture of fear.

HARD TIMES, TOUGH CALLS
In recent times, many companies and organisations, large and small, have found themselves in a position when difficult decisions needed to be taken in order to ensure survival and growth (albeit modest). Such measures impact in a very personal way on the lives of individuals be it restructuring, cost savings, maximising on synergies etc. That is not in question here - a good entrepreneur at some point will have to take decisions that require a strong stomach - they are there to lead, even in the teeth of the storm.

  
FEAR IS NOT FAST TRACK RESPECT

Managing through fearful times is not the same as using that fear as a tool of management. That is a poor substitute for leadership, in fact, it indicates a lack of any leadership at all. If management by fear becomes a de facto policy, we should ask on which planet would a negative, vulnerable and scared workforce operate better than one that is positively motivated, focused and inspired - recession or no?

A kingdom founded on injustice never lasts

SENECA

WHEN THE TIDE TURNS

When the ethos of excess pressure and fear (aka bullying) exists then this is a sign that troubled times lie ahead – and such a culture will begin to display structural flaws most particularly when an economy begins to emerge from recession: 

• An organisation's strongest and most able people will be gone at the earliest opportunity (if it has not already happened) – with predictable results
• The chances of enticing high achievers will be jeopardised. How can a business take full advantage of increased opportunities when it's most able people work for the competition? 
• Leadership through fear is like 'one club golf' and has no inbuilt flexibility and a very limited life span. 
• Shaking off the effects of a fear culture takes time and radical change – but since when did the world of business and opportunity proceed at a leisurely pace?

      If fear runs through an organisation there is very little that can be done without a radical and imaginative approach from the executive. This has to come from the top and starts with the core values of the boardroom. A good executive can lead it's people through the toughest times but once opportunities become more plentiful, the whole corporation will come into its own.

In the depth of winter 

I finally learned that there was in me 

an invincible summer

ALBERT CAMUS, French Nobel Prize winning writer

In the next blog we shall look closely at how individual managers, regardless of the scale of their responsibilities, can maintain awareness of their performance and in doing so ensure that their people are lead and not pushed.

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching helping business leaders, executives, managers and their staff to create a healthy, stress free environment so boosting their bottom line.

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.co.uk

email Alan

CAN ACCEPTING A WEAKNESS BE BENEFICIAL?

weakness

noun

1.

the state or condition of being weak.

synonyms: frailty, feebleness, enfeeblement, puniness, fragility, delicateness,

delicacy,

2.

a disadvantage or fault.

Synonyms: Fault, flaw, defect, deficiency, weak point/spot, failing, foible,

Shortcoming, imperfection, blemish, chink in one’s armour

THE POPULAR VIEW

When such definitions and synonyms are combined with a western puritan work ethic, there is little wonder why our culture and society views weakness – and in particular admitting we have any – with such negativity. In many areas of our lives weakness it is seen as, quite simply, unacceptable. No where is this more pronounced than in the world of business where accepting weakness is often regarded as kryptonite.  Ours is a ‘can do’ society where individuals ‘in control’, or those who make things happen, especially in the teeth of a storm, are greatly admired.

Real life strategies, especially at work, need more than gung-ho attitudes to stay the course

THE DAMAGE WITHIN

A problem we face is that we pften fear our weaknesses and seek to keep them hidden  – sometimes even from ourselves. Such negativity thrives in the dark corners of our consciousness and if left to its own devices it festers and grows. Many believe that if they admit to a weakness they will be judged and criticised by their peers (as if those same peers do not possess weaknesses themselves). The internal corrosion of fear and self-judgment, and the stress and anxiety it creates, is not only damaging to our health, but is also completely unnecessary.

ACCEPTING WEAKNESS

The acceptance of weakness has to be clearly defined. Surely we all accept the fact that we are not going to be good at everything. Our abilities, our thoughts and actions, all have their ups and downs. Weak points are inevitable, but accepting that fact does not mean we are giving in to, or indulging, a flaw – it is a simple matter of reality and the sooner we grasp that fact the sooner we can get on and do something about it.

If we ignore where we’re vulnerable, rest assured our competitors will not

In businesses one so often hears military and sporting metaphors being used, but many ignore an attitude to weakness prevalent in elite sport and the military: they ignore it at their peril. They may wish to conceal any weaknesses from a tactical point of view, but behind the scenes their attitude to weakness is realistic, pragmatic with a very practical and up-beat outlook.

THE BENEFITS OF ACCEPTING WEAKNESS

• Once accepted, a weakness can be more easily quantified, understood and then work can begin to do something about it – a small piece at a time if necessary
• There is no longer a hidden fear linked to our most vulnerable points as we begin to rise to the challenge of addressing them
• When weaknesses comes to light, be grateful. Knowing they are there is half the battle because whether we like it or not, they’re there
• Being more intimately acquainted with the topography of our abilities and character makes us better equipped to face life on our terms. After all, if we know where the ditches are we can avoid driving into them
• Enormous motivation and forward momentum comes from tackling a weakness as opposed to ignoring it
• Whether weaknesses are neutralised, contained, or even removed altogether, we can then concentrate on the game winner: playing to our strengths.

If we do not manage our weaknesses, we can be certain that, 

sooner or later, they WILL manage us.

We hone our strengths and seek to perfect them as they are our vanguard in life. But improving a weakness, even by a few points can raise our whole performance right across the board.  

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org

email Alan

QUICK TIPS, EASY WAYS, SIMPLE STEPS? In life development there's no such thing!

I write a blog relating to issues I come across on a regular basis: decision making; obstacles to clear thinking and focus; self confidence; workplace stress; early depression among executives, and so on. Just recently a coaching website very kindly agreed to published one of my missives with the condition that they could affect minor alterations to fit in with their style and theme. I willingly agreed and thought no more of it until one of my regularly readers brought my attention to the title of the piece which had been edited to begin with the words ‘Five Easy Ways To……’

  

‘Five Easy Ways’, ‘Ten Quick Tips’, ‘Seven simple steps’, are all anathema to me and unfortunately do my profession, at best, a huge disservice. Before proceeding I should say that the website concerned reacted promptly when I pointed out my feelings and they quickly changed the title to one I could agree with.

Blogging by its nature cannot explore a topic in any depth. It is there to promote interest in a given subject and to provoke the reader to ask questions of themselves and to challenge some of their perspectives. These mini articles of 300-500 words, however, may offer insights and illustrate behavioural triggers that can help people to begin to understand how life management and/or change may be brought about, but that is all. In our social media centric age we seek snippets of information, fast solutions, and ‘drive-thru’ concepts – but in my profession, to offer people anything other than complete reality is, to put it mildly, profoundly misleading.

There is no reason that the universe should be designed for our convenience.

John D Barrow (British cosmologist)

Our social conditioning began when we were small children so we have decades worth of beliefs, of knowledge, of family and social norms – some very good, some we are better off without  – to balance. In my experience there is no such thing as a quick fix when it comes to addressing how we see and think about our world.

When discussing managing our businesses or our lives, it takes hard work, clarity, focus, planning and time. With these factors in place we can achieve anything we set our minds to. Straightforward it may be – but simple it aint.

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org

email Alan

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - A Practical Introduction

This event and the edited video was arranged by the 'Interesting Talks' Meetup group, run by Matt Kendall, and took place in Piccadilly, London in October 2013.

The idea behind this workshop was to introduce, to a mixed audience, the theory of Emotional Intelligence using Daniel Goleman's model as the basis for discussion.

As you will see, the main themes of the discussion centred around: 

THE THEORY OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

• The five domains of EI 
• The five key skills
• The personal and group benefits of EI

NEGATIVITY

• Group activity: anxiety & negativity triggers
• The potency
• Identifying the symptoms
• Taking action

POSITIVITY

• Filling the void left by negativity
• The power of realistic positivity (Positive Truth)
• Group activity: The 'positive truth' list

I shall be holding another short workshop in central London early on 2014 and will blog the details in due course.

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org

email Alan

COMPASSION - A Workshop

Be kind, for everyone you meet 

is fighting a hard battle 

Philo, Alexandria, 1st Century

The workshop will be split in to two sessions on Saturday 7 June 2014 and will be part of the 'Health Getaways Normandy Weekend' retreat being held in Normandy from 6-8 June 2014. The cost of the workshop will be included in the price of the two day retreat. For details of costs and accommodation, plus a full itinerary on request, please email Health Getaways or email me directly and I shall be happy to supply you with all the information you need. 

It is not difficult to offer simple kindness and show compassion when things are going well – we can all do that. The challenge is to be able to share such acts and emotions when we are having a difficult day, or perhaps during a longer period of burden, the likes of which we all have to experience during our lives. 

Compassion is not something we should seek to compartmentalise in our lives but instead we can make it relevant throughout our existence be it at work, with friends or with our family.

Our discussion will encompass a number of broad elements of self compassion and compassion for others; the challenges facing our compassion; and the benefits when we succeed. Our work will culminate in each individual setting their own goal for compassion and formulating a plan for making the goal a reality.

WORKSHOP ITINERARY

10.00am-12.45pm (including coffee/tea break)

• Understanding the nature of guilt and shame
• Active Listening
• Understanding
• Judgement
• Forgiveness

13.00pm

Lunch

2.00pm

Afternoon walk with the rest of the retreat party

3.00-5.00pm

• The roll of meditation
• Setting a goal for compassion
• Making the plan happen

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org

email Alan

SELF AWARENESS (Part 3) - Our emotions and our behaviour

In the final part of this extended blog we will see how our emotions effect our behaviour and then go on to look at our strengths and limitations.

EMOTIONS AND OUR BEHAVIOUR

If our moods can determine our thinking it then follows that this process will also be reflected in our behaviour. But making that connection from emotion right through to what we do is not always obvious.

• We do have to take full responsibility for our actions, so why leave it to chance? Our emotions can cause a chain reaction for which we are either unwilling or unprepared. 
• The more we understand and are aware of the nature of the 'behavioural supply chain’, the more we will realise just how much control we can have - and in this life, real control is a very rare commodity.

OUR EMOTIONAL STRENGTHS AND LIMITATIONS

Knowing our strengths is, of course, important but understanding our limitations can be just as potent an asset. In fact, failure to appreciate that we have limitations can be a weakness and may even prove to be a serious flaw.

• If we understand our limitations as well as our strengths we are less likely to stumble unprepared into a challenge.
• Profound knowledge of our capacities leaves us better placed to exploit our talents to the full and give ourselves every opportunity to succeed. 
• We give ourselves every chance to play to our strengths, and after all, why would we want to do anything else?

The idea is not to prevent the flow of our emotions, but to manage them together with our moods, and to regulate the effect they have on our thinking. It is not the intention to breed Vulcans. A common question is 'how can I be doing all these things if I am to concentrate on my work?' The point is that, like any other skill, the more we practice, the more it becomes second nature.

Alan Keyse is a fully qualified Business and Life Coach who now applies his 30 years of experience as a sales executive to coaching Emotional Intelligence to business leaders, executives, managers and their staff either in one-to-one sessions, in groups, or speaking to larger audiences. 

Alan Keyse

keysforliving.org

email Alan